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Wow... What a ride that was! Aside from a few grammar/technical errors (characters speaking lines when it was meant to be Michele's inner monologue), I'd call this perfect! 

Oh wow, thank you! I'm sorry about the mistakes, do you have any reference as to where they are, so that I can fix them? Even just indicative

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I remember one was with the hotel owner towards the end of the story (right outside of the locked room). I don't remember where the other one was.

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Thank you for the help, I'll check those out and fix them!