Post by Melancholy Marionette in Solipsism Reigns Otome/GxB Version comments

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Hehe, yeah, and there is always soooo much to do but never enough time to actually do it x3 You are SO right though! I've learned that the hard way in recent years that stuff always take sa lot longer than you think it will so double your estimate, haha. The problem is that a lot of the time, I still try to kid myself into thinking that I can get it done in a shorter amount of time xD The only improvement I've really made is to beat myself up a bit less when I ultimately fail to make it in time, haha. Which I guess is better than still having crazy expectations and still getting pissed off at myself when I don't meet them x3

It's so true though, there is always something you can't anticipate that gets in the way of plans and schedules, haha. And yeah, it's not good if, like us, you have high expectations and then ultimately fail to meet them so wind up crushing yourself >.< Maybe it should be my new year's resolution not only to succeed in not beating myself up at all, but to actually adjust my expectation accordingly in the first place, rather than kidding myself into thinking I can do things that are virtually impossible! XD

And YES, I have been getting a little better as well at actually rewarding myself for meeting goals that I've set :3 I used to reach them and be like, great, but you should have done MORE. And that's just not even remotely healthy cos it's like putting yourself down all the time and nothing is ever good enough >.< Now I reach a self-set goal and tell myself, awesome, you did it. Now you can play a bit of Switch tonight without feelign guilty, or something along those lines, haha.

Cheers for the luck, I will definitely need it! x3

That is true about it sometimes taking longer to improve things than make them from scratch! But yeah, I will just take my time with it and try to make it one of those little side project type things with no pressure :3

Oh, man, tests >.< Well, if they're still to come, then I wish you lots of luck and hope they go okay :3 If you've done them already, then I hope it all went as well as it could!

I'm just drowning in 'to-do's' before Christmas, haha. Always get stressed out trying to prep for it cos I struggle to deal with everything going on in my online and my offline life at the best of times, but when there's extra stuff like meeting up with extended family for Christmas, it makes it even harder to juggle everything xD And I was desperately trying to make sure I wish everyone a Merry Christmas in time, haha.

Especially since I got an early combined Christmas and birtdhay present from my dad on Monday of hand tattoos x3 cos now it's awkward to type, haha. So yeah, I will wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy new year while I can ^-^

And it's fiiiiine :P I'm the type of person who would just still try and keep typing replies even if it took me months to do it xD Even if I get a bit overwhelmed with trying to be social a lot of the time, I do like being social, so it's like a constant battle cos I lose energy so fast trying to talk to people and keep in touch, which tends to make me slow to reply >.< but I desperately want to keep making and maintaining connections with people because it's nice to be able to talk to people from all over the world about different things <3

Tulip_Noir1 year ago

Well that is a good start! Ill congratulate you for that! :D Making improvements and changes in your life can definitely be a tiresome and tedious thing but in the end, all you have to remember is to take it slow! If you were to suddenly change yourself from how you used to act then you would end up suffering rather than benefitting as your brain would probably end up overloading from the huge load it suddenly has to take up. So, you are doing amazing! Keep it up as well as you can and you will reach your goal in no time! :)

Yup. That is definitely a HUGE problem. By the time I'm done with things that were wayy too much for me I usually end up like fruits in a blender, a smoothie. ._.

Ohh. That is actually a really good resolution! You know... I had recently come across an article about setting resolutions that are actually achievable rather than setting things that you most probably wont be able to complete. It made a lot of sense and honestly yours sounds absolutely perfect! It would help you first get the "not beating myself up at all" part done then giving yourself a little break as a reward for being able to accomplish something like that and then slowly moving forward. :D

Ahaha... Nice way to reward yourself! I feel soo guilty if I ever do things without completing my important work first but I procrastinate too much to ever actually reach my goals. ._.

You're welcome! (Uhhh... how do you respond to cheers? Idk? Help? XD )

Yeah! That's the spirit! :D Good luck once again!

Ahem... well, as I'm replying this late, they definitely are over~( Honestly, they went fine but I definitely regretted a lot XD ) Thank you for the uh.. good words? encouragement? cheer? Honestly, I will need these words later as I'm going to have practice exams soon... ;-; (R.I.P me )

Ahh Christmas! Wonderful Christmas! ...You know? I actually ended up reading this on Christmas but never had the time and motivation to reply... So uh... Merry Belated Christmas(?) Ehe... Ah how wonderful. You wish everyone on time huh? I honestly would too but I have a problem of procrastination. ;-; I say that Ill do it but then I end up neglecting it completely. When you encounter things like this that may seem stressful you should prioritise the thing that is most important to you! For example, you could keep the wishing other people online for later(actually do it though if you want to) and prioritize your family first! :D That was just an example. A way of saying that you should prioritize the special things in life. :)

Wooah! That seems soo cool to get as a birthday gift! You must have been happy! Also, if you don't mind me asking, when is your birthday? I would like to wish you if I can! :D ( Me contemplating whether your birthday has already passed by now and if I should wish you now or if it would be awkward to wish you later if your birthday had not passed and I wished you already so uh take this as a note just in case any of my speculations were correct! XD )

Well I already talked about Christmas but it is soon going to be a New year! So Happy New year! I hope you have a wonderful and fantastic year waiting for you ahead! I hope that you are able to bare all the troubles that will come your way this year and that you have pleasant days awaiting you in the future! Remember! Even if things seem bad, there are good things in life too! So cherish them and keep them close! :D

Whoa! Really!? Then can you reply to my friend? She types sooo much sometimes! Like I'll wake up to see 50+ long messages about different things that she reads or watches! The problem, here is that she writes about things I don't even watch! ( of course, I do reply almost every other time but sometimes its just too much ._. )

I can most definitely relate to you with that! I like being social (sometimes... If I'm in the mood! XD ) but I end up exerting wayy too much energy and for the rest of the day I'm just done with everything and want to be alone for sometime. I feel soo overwhelmed that I just want to play games and relax but a busy schedule(that I barely follow but lets not talk about that) awaits me... It truly is amazing to be able to talk all kinds of different people! Like, right now, I could totally be talking to a serial killer!? (I don't think you are one but just for the dramatic effect I need to add that!) Or mayybeee I might actually be talking to some really kind, pretty and amazing stranger who I wish to get to know more about as they seem really nice and fun! hehe. :D

Melancholy Marionette1 year ago(-1)

Sorry it's been ages >.< I got really ill the day after I got my tattoos before Christmas, haha. It wasn't their fault. I think I was just super unlucky and had a minor cold just beginning to manifest on the morning I went to get the tattoos done! It probably wouldn't have even turned into a cold if I hadn't spent the day getting tattooed, but I guess that probably massively lowered my immune system and while my body was prioritising healing the damage from that, the cold took hold T_T It sucked because it took me soooo long to recover. Well, I'm still not even 100% better now! So basically, I sent my last reply before that happened, and then I've been too ill to go on my PC right up until this week where I'm finally doing a bit better!

Consequently, I haven't achieved much recently x3 But at least it did give me a forced break and some time to finally start playing Fire Emblem Three Houses once I felt well enough to play on my Switch, haha.

Not gonna lie, my brain is already overloaded coming back to everything after such a long break of not touching any of my dev stuff x3 And being the idiot I am, I'm about to attempt to start working on a short project for this year's yandere jam because I really don't want to miss it >.< If I really can't make it though, I will try to be less hard on myself than I would've last year x3 At the end of the day, I'm over a week late starting work on something for it, and I don't have every single day in February available to work on it either, so it will be what it will be I suppose!

You're right though, trying to just make drastic changes overnight will only result in disaster and more burnout x3

Hehe, a Tulip smoothie xD

Speaking of resolutions, my brother told me right after Christmas that I need to force myself to take one weekday off each week xD He said I work on my projects way too much and never give myself enough time play games (and he's waiting for me to play a bunch of stuff so we can discuss, haha.) So I guess I can give that a go and see how it works out x3

Maybe it's better to not even set any goals in the first place cos then it doesn't matter if you procrastinate or take things slowly cos you'll get stuff done eventually, and it'll just be nice that you did them without any pressure :3

Glad to hear the tests went well! Though, regrets are never fun >.< But noooo, practice exams too? T_T I hope they went well as well if you've already had those too! But if they haven't come around yet, then I hope they do go as well as possible once it's time :3 I think I would just crap myself if I had to do an exam nowadays! Back when I was a kid in school, they never really bothered me and I kinda just used to do last-minute revision the night before and generally be fine xD I don't think that would work for further education though, haha. And then I would suck at revising and then probably fail everything >.<

Hehe, no worries :3 All of my replies have been massively delayed xD I spent most of Christmas in a daze anyways cos I was trying to sleep as much as possible in the hope that it would help me get rid of the cold faster x3 I read stuff that had been posted on here, but I just didn't have the energy to reply to anything. Didn't even go on my PC since I sent the last message cos I didn't feel well enough to sit at my desk >.< When I started getting a bit better, I debated trying to reply on my phone, but it's so old and laggy that I just gave up x3

Hehe, well, technically the people online are more special to me than most of my family x3 Of course, I'm super close to my dad and my brother, so they are always my top priority! Along with my one in-person friend. But while I do love my wider family to bits, I technically spend less time talking to them than I do with people online, and most of them don't even really know me xD So in a weird way, some of the friends I have online are more like family than some of my actual family, haha.

My birthday actually isn't until the second week of February :3 It's just sometimes because it's so close to Christmas, my dad will decide to get me something a bit more expensive than he usually would and give it as a combined Christmas and birthday gift, so then I get it for Christmas, and then on my birthday I don't get as much cos he's already spent the money. I keep telling him he shouldn't be spending on me anyways cos he should be keeping it for himself so he can have a nice holiday or something since he really deserves one!!

I'm terrible with birthdays x3 I usually forget when they are, look it up, then panic cos it's like a week away and I haven't even prepared a card or anything T_T

It hasn't been the best start to the new year with being ill xD but now that I'm getting better, I'm hoping the rest of the year will be more pleasant, haha. I did already get to see some rareish birds that I've never seen before in my life though, so that's something a bit different and awesome for January ^-^ I hope that your new year has been going brilliantly so far!! <3

Haha, I get that cos I usually haven't watched the stuff some of my friends are talking about x3 but I don't wanna be rude and just like completely skip over that part of the conversation, so I try my best to think of something to say at least. But yeah, sometimes I do really struggle with keeping in touch with everyone T_T The problem is, I love having such a range of awesome friendships online, and I do really wanna make sure I treasure them and keep them as friends, but at the same time, my energy levels fluctuate like crazy, and if I'm going through one of those periods of really low energy, that combined with being introverted anyways means I take months to respond, and then I feel awful >.<

But yeah, like how you described in your last paragraph is pretty much what happens to me too, haha. I wish I weren't so easily overwhelmed :( I don't know how some people manage to be super social on top of juggling everything else in their lives >.< for me it's just impossible!

I sure hope I don't end up becoming a serial killer xD but you never know what the future holds, haha. But d'aww, you're so sweet <3 I'd like to hope that I can be described as kind... not sure most people would say pretty, but I guess everyone has different opinions on what's pretty and what isn't x3 let's just say that I'm not exactly what you could describe as being typically good-looking xD

But yeah, you seem pretty darn lovely yourself :3 I may kinda despise social media and stuff, but one thing I do love about being able to talk to strangers on the internet is that it's a heck of a lot easier to find new friends than it is in person! ^-^ Hope you're doing well, getting plenty of time to relax, and that you don't have too much stress going on this January! :3

Tulip_Noir1 year ago(+1)

No problem, no problem! It has been extremely long though. 'o' (I may have kind of imagined the worst case scenario that you may have kicked the bucket or something haha.. me and my pessimistic mind :p ) Oh my... how horrible. Good to know that you're better now. Hope you recover completely soon!

*in a dramatic voice* It was fate! You were destined to fall sick as you were not getting enough rest!

Playing games helps me unwind. What about you?

Oh dear! Don't pressure yourself too much though! It'll be like re-opening old wounds. Like... the wounds haven't healed completely yet but they don't get to as you don't let them recover. It wont be good if you fall sick again now would it. Try your best but spare time for rest! (not 'the rest' but rest as in 'sleep' or something.... just wanted to clarify..) Whoaa! New works from THE Melancholy Marionette!? Now I'm going to wait for you to finish in anticipation!(No pressure! For me, as long as I get a game that's good and fun I'll play it!) Ah, that's a tight schedule... mines not that free either... I have some few more EXTREMELY IMPORTANT exams coming close... I hope you're able to do what you wish to do on time and also take care of yourself during stressful times!

Burnouts- They're truly horrible! T-T Sometimes it happens so suddenly and at the worst time possible...

I googled Tulip smoothie. Those things actually exist(and look intriguing)- If I were made into a smoothie it'd be more red than anything else though- lol.

Whoa. You have a brother? ;-; lucky(?). You two can play games and all together, but wait- what I mean is you're brother totally right! If you weren't giving yourself a day off then no wonder it must've been stressful for you! You should listen to him. That's some good advise there!

Hmm.. that does seem quite accurate... but if I think about how 'I don't have any goal to pass and score well in my upcoming exams', my lazy procrastinating self will take advantage of it and id probably end up failing xD Personally, I require goals. At least for now, but if you think it could work go for it. That may be a suitable mindset for you. :)

Hahaha. I've been venting about my exams a lot haven't I? Whelp. that's most of my year for you. Hopefully, once these are done, I wont have to worry about exams for a while. ( I sound like I'm depressingly talking about how hard I had to study but in reality I've procrastinated most of my year away... ;-;) Those actually went horrible- I might or might not have failed in 2 or maybe 3 subjects- BUT not to worry! I'm sure I'll do better for these one!(hopefully..) Ah.. Y'know, I have friends who are mostly toppers or well comparatively wayyy better at studies than me so like it really sucks sometimes lol. You reminded me of one of them who used to tell us that she only studies last minute but then she used to score like amazing marks in almost everything xD

let us pray saying , ''May we never have to study and answer exams ever again!'' lol. It will be for the betterment of us both.

Haha. I know that feeling. I try and want to do something but don't have the energy to do it at that moment(or I'm just lazy-). Like- do you know how many times I've read a message but couldn't get myself to type a reply as I thought of it to be too tedious? Lets just say.. its a lot!

That moment when you think of doing something but the world seems against you so you just give up... ;>; so relatable...

Waaah. That's really interesting. When you first started talking about family I thought that you were extremely close to everyone. In my case, I don't really go online to talk to people most of the time. I've had friends in the past but we didn't stay connected and when it come to family and friends irl- Well lets just say that I care a lot for my parents and sibling (a bit for the others too-) but in general I don't feel too close to them personally...? I don't know how to explain lol. (I barely have any irl friends remaining either- we just stopped talking to each other that often-) Before you say it. NO. I am not lonely.(I think..) I am totally okay! I choose to be distant sometimes. Its just better to have less connections, Is what I feel. But anyway- back to the topic! That's really cool! You have an online family! :D Wait really!? What bare minimum faunal contact do you have irl!?(no offence lol)

YOUR BIRTHDAY! It may be over already by the time you read this sooo HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! <3 Hope your day went well? OH, now that you mention it, my dad too game me an advance birthday gift a while back! He said that I wont be getting anything on my birthday now ;-; (kind of ruined the concept of birthdays a little don't you think..? just a bitt??)But it was a nice gift though! So I'm happy, I'm being grateful ,don't worry bout that lol. Awee. That's very modest of you and you get the things you do as you deserve them!(talking bout the positives not the negatives-) But I'm sure that seeing you happy would probably give him more joy than any break or vacation could ! <3 That's fatherly love for you!

I've given up on birthdays- I've tried to make people happy and make them things in the past but procrastination gets in the way and now I just wish them mostly lol.

Sad to here that you had a bad start to the year but it must have been fun to witness those unique birds? Maybe this is a sign that life is going to be bittersweet. Now its your choice whether you want to hold on to the bitter part or the sweet! My year in general started off with a mediocre tone along with the exams and tests :) but its fine! Its not like the year is going to remain like this always right!

Why are you soo relatable?? I don't have many online friends so that's not a huge problem but that one friend of mine is more than enough to send me messages twice the time long than any normal human being would at a time xD You are speaking facts my friend. We are akin to each other. :] its always fun to meet and talk to people who have very unique lives and personalities! (Especially if I don't have to talk to them in person! xD )

:( I know right! Its such a bad feeling to be overwhelmed. Like I don't want to be rude or back out of a conversation but in the end I end up going silent and not wanting to respond because I'm just drained... Hmm, I think maybe the trait of being social comes from your personality and your childhood perhaps. Maybe those kind of people have always been extremely confident and have had childhoods filled with people and socialization ? 'o' It's quite a curious thing indeed. Don't you worry though! Know that you aren't alone! :D I'm sure loads other people feel like we do too!

Are you sure about that? Your love for yanderes and scary(ish) games suggests a bit of something else don't you think? Hehe what if.... you are a serial killer but you yourself don't know of it!?

Just a general observation! Of course, I don't know you in person to describe you and your personality better and you probably know yourself better than anyone else, so I cannot discern who you are and your personality exactly as it is either but from our conversations you do seem to be wonderful and kind. No lie! :D

Hey! Ever heard the saying, pretty's on the inside? You don't have to be gorgeous outside but rather have a beautiful heart on the inside!(and who knows, maybe your guts, organs and bones look absolutely stunning! xD Please excuse my weird mind.) And its not like I'm the epitome of pretty either >:] . In the end, beauty lie in the eye of the beholder! What's pretty for me may not be pretty for others and vise versa! So I'd like to imagine that you are in fact pretty! My opinion. You have no right to refute! >:D

Heck ya! Aren't I lovely? And here I don't have the right to refute as this is your opinion! xD Same... Social media is kind of scary sometimes... I prefer not to spend most my time near it but its so interesting how you can just type something like ''hi'' or ''It's amazing'' or something and cause a huge impact in some random person on maybe the other side of the world! Its so fascinating when you think of it in that way!

Haha, introverts unite! Strangers can be fun on the internet!(dangerous too but lest not talk about that... I shouldn't let the serial killer find out that I'm onto her... xD ) Its nice to see people who are like you and chat with them and its easier to talk here just as you said! You don't have to think of keeping up a conversation or pleasing the other person and worrying about hurting them after saying something too quickly all the time!

Uno reverse card! I wish you the same! …but I guess January has already passed hasn't it? xD

Hope you do well in life and don't stress too much! Remember, if you end up having trouble in life you can always vent it out here! Writing your worries down is a wonderful way to release the stress and pain in everyday life!

May you have joyous and wonderful days ahead! Type to you (probably and possibly ) next month! (we do take a lot of time to reply don't we xD)

Bye-bye! <3

Tulip_Noir1 year ago(+1)

Just a side note: I think our conversations are so long that it feels like we're writing a story or something- xD The length of the messages keep increasing! <3 But that isn't a bad thing, continue with what you were doing now!

itch.io

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