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I apologize for the long response but your review touched me and felt I needed to share a longer version of my decision to put down TDA.

I can't express how sad this makes me, but in a bittersweet way like remembering a loved pet that's no longer here. The appreciation you've outlined here for the world I was building makes my heart so full. The magic system that I used in TDA I've been toying with and reworking for a decade. It was first a non-furry, book (50 pages or so, also unfinished) and then I tried to overlap my love for world building and my lust for furry VNs.  It was more daunting than I had expected.

Developing a VN is technically easy. Anyone can do it. The difficulty is persistence and dedication, which isn't a strong suit for my ADHD brain. I bit off more than I could chew. 

Writing a chapter for TDA would take about 4-6 hours but then converting that into a VN was overwhelming (scripting the lines, adding expression markers for each new line, adding music, images, transitions, variables to track heart events). That 4-6 hours became 20+. After a long day at work, cooking dinner, taking care of the boys, trying to get to the gym, spending time with my boyfriend, friends, and family, and wanting to have wind-down solo time with a video game meant that I had very little energy/time left each week and I'd be giving up parts of my life to make it. 

I started TDA when I lost my job and found free time I hadn't had before. That opened the door for me to pour my creative energy into something I was truly passionate about. I daydreamed that I could grow enough support like Extra Curricular Activities or After Class, and be able to support myself doing something that I loved but that obviously takes time. I also didn't love the idea of being beholden to my supporters (no offense intended!). Although NONE of them were pushy or impatient, guilt would hit me hard when I didn't think I could make a monthly deadline or that the story maybe wouldn't be interesting or spicy or long or unique enough to warrant the support. These demons were internal, to be clear, but a trap I couldn't escape all the same. Writing/creating without expectations is freeing, but doesn't cover the bills. 

I contemplated just avoiding Patreon altogether to get rid of the expectations but then this would only be an expense. To add some data, TDA has been downloaded about 15,000 times on Itch but I've only made $134. The background artist I was working with was $100 per background so creating the game free of time constraints and expectations would have costed me a few thousand dollars. Patreon felt like the only way forward, where I was making near $300 per month even early on with few subscribers. It paid for the assets and was a glimmer of hope that perhaps it could support me as well but I couldn't remain jobless for a couple years as my following grew. I don't mean to criticize people who don't donate on itch (I'm that way for 50% of the games I've played), but it becomes impractical for creators looking for a way to put food on the table.

Once I got a job again, if I was to work on TDA only during my free time and when I had the energy left to give, I could only realistically give a few hours each weekend. A chapter would end up taking months to finish and with 20+ chapters planned with 5 unique chapters per datable character the roadmap was at least 6-8 years. It felt so daunting. 

The other killer was just how lonely it was. I was creating a world that people were enjoying but I was doing it alone. There was no one to share the success but also the tediousness of creating it. The idea of building something for years by myself was killing my mental health. I'm an introvert in many ways but no solo activity has kept me motivated for long. TDA is my longest project I've ever stuck with on my own.

I love creating. I still draw from time to time and write short stories on other platforms, but they have small finite ends. And there's no expectation for a sketch or short story to appear and so whether it's been 1 week or 1 year since a post no one worries or messages me.

I'm partly in denial for TDA being gone forever. There were moments, a couple years ago, when I thought about just publishing everything I had: sketches for characters not yet introduced, outfits and scenes I had drawn, the character arcs I had planned for each character. Just to give everything I had so at least we'd all be on the same page for what was in my mind; but I couldn't. Giving that all away feels like the final, internal confirmation that I was done and I haven't been ready to do that.

Please don't read too optimistically into that though. For me to ever consider revisiting TDA I would need to do-so with a team and if that doesn't include my boyfriend or a close friend then it still involves me giving up on other parts of my life to revitalize TDA and the chance of that being true is incredibly low (no one in my IRL appreciates the furry world).

So, thank you for your incredible review of my little unemployment project. I, too, love the world TDA is set in and hope it was enjoyable even if unfulfilling. 

<3 Healer Main