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(2 edits)

I've been looking forward to trying this one, and wasn't disappointed! The overall quality of this visual novel is really high... I appreciate the details, down to the hand-drawn menus and buttons. You often put your art down, and while I won't pretend there isn't room for improvement, I think this may be some of your best work yet. The overall aesthetic works great... it has a coherence and style that really works in this format. It's been fine in 3D, but as a fully 2D work with drawn backgrounds it clicks. The posing and action is dynamic, which helps sell some of the bigger moments. Also, the animations are cool and add a lot.

The SFX and music may be sourced, but all are used to great effect and really enhance the experience.

If I had to pick one thing I'd like to see improved, I guess it would be the story. Nothing in there is bad, it just feels really fast. Maybe a little more time to get to know the main character and get into their headspace. A little more build up and reaction from the characters around them. Again, I felt like everything that made it in was good, I'd just like to see a bit more of it.

It's a problem I've run into plenty of times with my jam games, so I know how that goes... and I know you were limited in your time for this one. So take this less as a major criticism, and more that I liked it and wanted more!

Also, darn it! I drew Sakura BEFORE playing this and now I like her new haircut. I'm going to have update that...

PS: Forgot to mention that I played the web build. Seemed fine as far as I could tell, no issues. When I clicked it and it popped up the webplayer, it did display the working title though. Not sure if that matters to you.

(+1)

Thanks for playing!

Aesthetics aside, I think this is the most artistically consistent game I've made so far. I was able to greatly simplify the UI, which opened the door to making custom graphics and optimizing the layout instead of letting the theme engine throw a coat of paint over the same tired interface.

I've definitely been trying to improve my poses and scene composition, even if I am keeping more or less the same overall style, so I'm glad that worked out.

I agree that the story is pretty rushed. Nguyen and Tiff take things in stride because (minor spoilers) they already know, but I wish I'd had more time to spend on Mitch and his relationship with Steph. In retrospect, it might have been better to spend more time extending the story, possibly spacing it out a bit more, even if that meant cutting some of the animated sequences. But then I'd probably look back and say the opposite.

This is a story I've had in mind for a long time, and my mindset has kind of shifted from "I want to do this story perfectly or not at all" to "I want to tell this story, even if it's not perfect". I had to constantly remind myself it was a jam and I didn't have a lot of time, and not let perfection be the enemy of close enough.

The one thing I really wish I'd had time to do is animations in the visual novel sequences themselves. I made that a stretch goal early on to limit scope and never had time to come back to it. The animated sequences are technically separate, and the one character animation in a conversation is hacked in via scripting instead of implemented in sane way.

As an aside, it was pretty weird to do a linear visual novel with no significant branching and no alternate endings given that I usually emphasize player choice, but it was a breath of fresh air after the open world nightmare that was Shattered 2. I was expecting more complaints about this to be honest.

I'm glad that the web build is working (I did run through it a few times myself). I can't guarantee every game I make will make it to the browser, but I know it's a lot easier for people to deal with so it is something I'll try to make happen where practical. It does help that CommonCore actually supports Unity WebGL now (albeit still with a lot of caveats).

Finally, I wouldn't worry about Sakura's "new haircut" too much. It's not a deliberate design change, just the result of taking a shortcut and half-tracing hair from another character to save time.