Purist Mod - After Action (long review) 4/4

Review
spoiler

>>> SPOILERS BELOW <<<

Monika path ✰★★★★ (4 stars)

Play through 4 - Monika route.

TL DR: IT's good! Its's bittersweet. So very bittersweet.
I just didn't want bittersweet :(

Reality is a fickle bitch, and I am her squeaky toy.

All Dokis = best Doki, but deep in my heart, I'm prob a Monikan. So I've been looking forward to this path. I desperately want to save my girls... But I mostly need to save Monika. As I've stated many times , I wept the most for Monika.

1) The beginning is FUN! After hours of replaying the same tropey dialogue, we are in the club with well adjusted Dokis! I am pretty pleased with myself and ...and Monika is befuddled by it.

2) The poem game falls back into the cannon DDLC - there is no Monika path witch was a bit disappointing, as the Dokis most;y fall back into their cannon personalities depending on the words you choose, but I'm guessing that had a lot to do with the game and not desires of the modders.

3) Festival prep with Monika, nicely awkward... Then CHILLS.

CHILLS throughout my whole body. I had no idea where the scene was going...

Is Monika the "player"?

Am I a game file? (not MC - me! Is my life a simulation and this is the reveal?)

My imagination raced! The game DDLC played me, and now the Purist Mod was playing me also. Is my reality playing a Doki Mod some simulation? I made me more desperate for Monika. As the text through the evening scrolled, I wanted MC

to pull out paper and a pen and write a poem about the conflict being felt. 
Theme it after what Monika said. 
Then at the Festival, when it was MC's turn to perform, h
e could turn to the crowd and say "I know the program has a poem 
I was planning to do, but instead I want to perform this one for you. 
I call it... "How We Fly". MC would start the poem about '
what is reality'... allusions to computer code and DNA... metaphors
 masking predetermined script to destiny and fate... 
All the while MC captivating every member of the audience, and especially 
the club. As he slowly lifts his eyes from the page... 
reciting the poem by heart - not needing the paper... 
his eyes fixing on Monika... his poem  bridging the chasm... 

But way to early for MC to have that intensity.

The point is I was into it!.

4) I'm not 100% sure what the writers intended with the Monika / MC / Player relationship.

In DDLC, Monika broke the 4th wall and addressed the player. In Purist Mod, she breaks the 4th wall to confront MC(who is unaware of a 4th wall.

I'm trying not to consider this very much as (a) it never pulled me out of the immersion, I only considered it after the game was over. and (b) I thought the Mod executed it well.

5) Is Sayori the 'master of puppets?? Is she the 'player'??? Why do I have this feeling... Ow my brain. I kept expecting the 'Vice-President / semi-aware AI to kick in and have Sayori drop some huge reveal on me. It was great, and I have no idea if it was intentional. :)

6) I admit that I was not as 'lost' in this path as I was in Sayori's, but still the whole time I was in it with Monika, I was praying for it not to end. Even when things were not good, I didn't want it to end.

Now that it has ended, I salute the writers and their choices. A Brilliant ending, and the Monika path really catered to all the Sayorians, Yurians, and Natsukians who may harbor some degree or resentment for Monika. I hope that they are able to find some empathy for her after playing.

But for us AD=BDs and Monikans...

I personally feel empty.

Don't get me wrong, it WAS good. But, I lament not getting to explore the closeness with Monika that I got to experience with the other girls on their paths. I fell like I needed another hour with Monika.

Maybe a branching path after the 2nd date to the tower... 
where non-Monikans can select: "I glad you're finally happy, see you tomorrow" 
for a good platonic happy ending at school... 
and Monikans can select "would you like to stay over my place?" and she says yes...  
for a good romantic happy ending at home... 

and then the fog comes in...

As it is, I just. wasn't. ready.

I don't think I replay this route, it just hurts too much as is.

T.T