Purist Mod - After Action (long review) 3/4

Review
spoiler

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Yuri path - ✰✰✰✫★ (1.5 stars)

Play-through 3 - Yuri route.

TL DR: My expectations may have been too high (see 1)
There are dialogue editing issues (see 2)
Weird / off-putting MC choice (see 3)
The relationship was rushed and never developed (see 4-7)

1) Caveat: My expectations may have been too high.

Yuri was the Doki I 1st perused in the DDLC. I was completely captivated by her and blissful every time I got her to come out of her shell, even just a little. I fully committed to the point that I blew off Sayori in my virgin foray into DDLC, and have had deep conflict over it since.

So, really anticipating playing this path, I sat down with Oolong tea with a splash of milk, and headed in.

Unfortunately, I was unable to connect with MC at all, and so I could not immerse myself into the story.

Here is why...

2) There is some dialogue issues.

MC says "I love you Yuri" on the park bench. Yuri doesn't say it back. Then immediately MC follows up with "I think my feeling for you are going stronger". I don't think MC is meant to say I love you there.

Later Yuri texts "I love you" and MC doesn't reply.

Then later when Natsuki is comforting MC days after the suspension and no Yuri, she asks "do you love her" and MC says "The question caught me off guard, love? I certainly liked her..." Either the dialogue editing is fooked, or make. up. your. bloody. mind. MC!!

Then Natsuki ends the scene with "if you make Yuri cry again..." Wait (I said out loud) -Yuri cried? When? No one has seen her? Unfortunately this is ignored and unresolved. WTF?

3) The 'confronting Yuri about the rumors' scene killed the story. Completely.

This was the single scene that wrecked it for me. Things were progressing nicely, there was a hint of potential conflict with Senior (not yet looming), but all was good, and sweet, and I was giddy with anticipation. Then this. I was beyond disappointed that MC confronts Yuri about the rumors, That was a trainwreck coming a mile out. IF it needed to be developed (which it did not, the seeds were there), then better to ask the senior or Natsuki directly about the rumors, or get Sayori to ask Natsuki. Either way, get more information before acting seems the natural 1st step.

Or, DON'T mention it to her at all! It was this 'beyond vague boogeyman' that MC (for no discernible reason) put (a ridiculous amount of) value in, and nearly capsizes the entire relationship:

"Hey Yuri*, this guy I don't really know, kinda said... well he didn't really say anything. But, OMG what are we gonna to do about it ???"*

THEN, MC brushes it under the rug and forgets about! Seriously, WHY? Being corralled into that dead-end pulled me out of the story completely, and I had a really hard time getting back in. If this ONE CHANGE happened, it would have greatly improved the story.

4) More time / another date before the crisis was needed.

The relationship did not develop and get comfortable enough when the crisis happened.

Here's my rewrite...

A quick simple date in the park where MC and Yuri read together. 
And the book gets to a part where the hero and heroine kiss... and that leads to their first kiss! 
Small, but very exciting for both of them. Slight concern over the tempo of their relationship, 
but it feels ok, so they just play it by ear.
Later MC and Yuri go on a date to a bookstore-aromatherapy kiosk near the tower in the city 
that she heard about, and had been wanting to visit for a while! They have fun for much of it, 
then it gets crowded and she gets uneasy. On the way home, some of Senior's buddies are on the bus.
They see Yuri and MC and seem to be laughing, and texting someone...  MC frets a little but Yuri 
assures him that even if it is something, its nothing to her and asks him to ignore it. 
She is more reserved and back in her shell for the rest of the trip however. At home, 
Yuri comes back out of her shell and  kisses! That night MC still has some doubt 
about Senior and his buddies.
Then a few days later ... the rain scene / run to my place for tea (MC bought some exotic tea 
just for her last time he was shopping) and holding each other listening to the rain!! 

AND THEN we then then get tossed into turmoil. As it was... too much bad too soon.

5) The chain-email was WAY HARSH compared to the tepidness of the fledgling relationship.

IF the relationship had more passion (especially innocent - see 7 below), the tone of the chain-email would have fit. The contrast to the vile nature of the email to the purity of the love would have been a great contrast. With the relationship as is presented, the email was overly jarring. I think I'd prefer a slight shorting the email and amp up the relationship (see 7 below). I believe that way would really have caused MC (and the player) A LOT of anxiety. As it was presented, I wasn't able to convince myself Yuri was in that much trouble, as I don't think she came very far out of her shell yet. Had she come farther out... and then the email... oh boy. THAT would have been a crisis.

6) Yuri coming over to MC's house to ask to meet her in the graveyard was clumsy.

Instead, Here's my rewrite...

MC without Yuri... 
he 1/2 tries going about his business to distract himself, and 1/2 hoping to run into 
Yuri in town (he visits the bookstore - that she regulars - to buy a book, 
and hope to see her). Then he visits the park, sits for a while with the book 
she gave him, trying to read but can't focus.... Instead he pulls out a pen and paper 
and writes her this master poem (not the mini-game, just tie-in their history).
 The words, emotion, and metaphor flow from MC like a tsunami. The only issue with 
finishing it is that he can barely see the paper from the tears in his eyes. 
Near total resignation at this point, and getting depressed by the happy couples 
in the park, he notices a path off to the side. Ready to giver her up - for her, 
MC seeks solitude for the 1st time, he solemnly explores the path to find...
 A Graveyard! ...and (shock!) Yuri is there too!! 
After a moment of clumsy hello's, Yuri turns to go, 
AND THEN MC asks to share one last poem with her... which she reads. 
She is blown away by it. It is brilliant execution of style and substance, 
and clearly written from him about her... about them. It unlocks something 
deep in her she has been safeguarding. Something that their relationship 
had been tugging on to release, like a dove from a cage.  Yuri then shows 
MC the scars on her arm from the the cutting, 
and the scars on her soul from her sad life. 
MC is shocked, but only that his dear friend is in such pain, 
and has been for so long. 
He offers the confession and apologies. 
He tells her SHE is the greatest poem he has ever known - full of metaphor,
 rich in passion, soft, deep, and endlessly alluring.  
That he would gladly give everything to show her the immeasurable value that is her.
 How grateful he is to have known her, and to have been forever changed 
for the better, by her. 
MC surprises himself with the power of his words and ability to convey so much
 of himself so easily. Yuri really has taught him a lot, and apparently unlocked even more. 
And mostly, he is willing to let her go, for her, if that is what she needs. 
That he will miss her forever, because she is a part of who he has become.
Yuri is torn between wanting to flee this new intense connection 
and wanting to be consumed by it. At the same time she sees it is also crushing MC,
 and the near unbearable decision he's making for her. She understands because 
Yuri sees herself in his words and his actions. She sees all the loneliness 
and self-isolation that MC took away from her, and that he is now accepting, FOR her... 
Yuri realizes that she does not want to be alone again, and moreover that she does
 not want to be without MC. And reminded of so many of her novels, she breaks free - 
rejects her fears, and falls into MC's arms. 
They collapse onto the ground holding each other. And they weep.  
Yuri asks MC not to let her go. She vows to get better. 
MC kisses the scars on her arm, and vows to be there with her.

...FUCK - I just made myself cry !!!

Anyway, then pick the mod back up at the point of leaving the graveyard.

7) The sexual-tension... was OK...

It is natural, needed, and does not need to be resolved. It was strong in Sayori's path. It was missing in Natsuki's path and that left that relationship missing an essential element. With Yuri it was there but... I bring it up in this path because MANY times we are reminded that Yuri is an extremely passionate person (in ALL areas), who is just now learning to share those passions with another - with MC.

Much of that was missing. The cannon DDLC drops us into a few uncomfortable situations involving Yuri's chest, even before Act 2 (Natsukis "grew a size" comment and when feeding her chocolate), One more something like that in the mod would have also helped build the good tension and develop the relationship, as we discover and become comfortable with each other. This easily could have been done in a classy way that respected her (eg: turning towards her to hand her a chocolate in crowded park and oops! TENSION) .

IMHO, those type of additions / alterations were needed to flesh out the story arc. I so very much wanted it to be epic.

I may have to play this one again. I just couldn't get immersed in it for the life of me due to the above, and I sooooo wanted to.

:(