THOSE DANG CRICKETS. I saw that the day after submissions were done, and I had thought I'd lucked out and nobody was going to notice. See also calling NICO 'PAN' in one of the random charts.
Thank you for the review. You've given me a lot to mull over, in addition to the obvious and quicker fixes (the weird cricket almost-sentence, firming up the content warning, picking a better drug for BENDS to experiment with)
I don't know whether to be proud or upset that I got under your skin with the prose - I hope it was the good kind of disturbed. In either case, I've already added to the content warning on my account page linking to the download.