Do i have to clear Tocchan's route before i can access Kei & Kaede's?
also. how do i get the 69 position? I am currently a submissive bottom
Yes for the clearing Tocchan's route. You have to get his best ending first in order to unlock the secret routes. Note that you have to start at the beginning after getting his best ending so that you can select Tocchan's cheat to unlock Kei and Kaede's routes.
For the 69 position, all that's left for you to do is constantly give the guy a BJ for every sexual encounter. The chibi of Haato giving your chosen guy a BJ should appear. For my playthrough, that took three separate sexual encounters before the other guy initiates the 69.