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I'm pretty clueless, how do you get the caring trait? I've checked the restaraunt and looked at his books but I cannot seem to find it anywhere.

I believe I figured it out, but I have a final question. How do I deny my lover from taking initiative during foreplay?

Press the "make love" button first before they can take the initiative (to take the dominant position during the fucking itself).

If you want to deny them from touching you first, blindfold / rope / other toys can probably be used.