As far as coloring goes, I might suggest you continue with the idea of black outlined in neon blue. However, when an option is selected, it should just be red and shouldn't have the neon blue anymore. The same could be said for the existing neon words - if you select it, it should lose it's neon color. Because if I choose the Options tab, I can't immediately tell that it's been turned red.
In response to lending my editing skills, doing it for free is exactly what I was thinking. I write stories in my spare time in Google Docs anyways, and I would love to make grammatical edits to such a good VN for free.
However, I wouldn't want to look through raw code to find the text. If it was in a separate document, then I'd be ok with it. But separating text from code is kind of half of the work anyways, so I can understand if that's not something you're willing to put effort into.
And my name? I'm always surprised when a movie/tv show character has it because it's a biblical name, so most people don't care for it in media. But I'm even more surprised to find it in a VN. Especially a gay furry VN.