So while the writing was very evocative, and I liked the strength of the imagery especially in the early paragraphs with the descriptions of the landing, I think this story ultimately wound up not fully conveying a sense of the narrator's character. The whole story was a commander reflecting on the nature of his past mistakes - but I was left wondering how he really viewed them and himself. In one paragraph he casually dismisses the deaths of his men as "easily replaceable", but later on he seems to regard the deaths of the colonists with regret, which didn't gel for me. He seems resigned to his fate, but I would have liked to know more about what he thinks his *actual* failure was - or if he believes he didn't meaningfully fail and he's being unfairly treated. Basically I came to the end of the piece without a clear understanding of how Seltioch feels about the history he's reflecting on, and I think the story could be tighter in that regard.
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I agree. Honestly, I think the problem I had writing the story is that it isn't really complete. I was trying to convey the conflict he was feeling inside himself. His last comment about his missing hand was supposed to establish that he was ultimately selfish, even if a small part of him felt remorse about the deaths of the men he took for granted during the Gyris campaign. It could have been done better.