Yeeeeah, that's pretty much how my mum is x3 She seems to think that depression is a case of just being lazy, and that simply getting a job will solve all your problems >.< She's just a very different person to me though. Sure, she has her ups and downs, but I think she's ever truly experienced what it's like to have poor mental health, and so she's just unable to understand how debilitating it can be.
Being neurodiverse certainly doesn't help the situation either, haha. As you say, society, in general, isn't really designed for non-neurotypical people, so it's kinda like already being at a major disadvantage before you even factor in stuff like anxiety and depression >.<
I'm sorry that you've had to go through everything that you have :( But also, that's a huge achievement to have gotten to the point where you are able to accept that sort of thing, even if it did take 5 years! My therapist kept trying to drill into me that it's impossible to be consistent each day in terms of productivity because each day is different and brings different challenges, so it's impossible to expect myself to be able to keep on being as productive as days that have passed x3
Hearing that you're able to acknowledge something like that for yourself gives me hope that I might be able to someday too :3 I think I'm maybe a bit too stubborn for my own good xD even when I'm struggling like crazy, I keep pushing myself onwards, and it never turns out well, but I never learn my lesson either >.< haha.
If I can somehow learn that it's completely valid for me to have these dips without beating myself up for them, I'll probably be a lot better off!
I really love your energy = coins analogy! I'm gonna attempt to give that a go because I certainly do find myself trying to take on too much and then getting myself worked up when I ultimately fail to do everything I had hoped to x3 Perhaps using that method, I can try and be a bit more realistic with myself about what's achievable!
In the end, my therapist agreed that I should come off of the medication I was on at the time (Duloxetine), though she did think I should try something else. I told her that I would prefer to go without for now, because every time I've tried medication, it just seems to make things worse in one way or another >.< I tried Sertraline years ago and I know what you mean! It was awful. I could barely get out of bed :( I believe Fluoxetine did the same thing to me as well. Citalopram made me gain a crazy amount of weight and begin to lose any and all feeling >.< And Mirtazapine turned me into a ravenous monster with an insatiable appetite that wanted to eat anything and everything in sight xD Even a carrot was a delicious treat to me while I was on that! Unfortunately, I was on it around Easter time, so when stores reduced all their Easter chocolate, I went mad buying all the leftovers o.O Luckily, I had enough willpower in me to not eat them, and to tell my GP at the time that it was getting kinda ridiculous, haha. All the chocolate went to a local foodbank in the end, haha.
I'm super glad you've been enjoying my stuff anyhow :3 I hope I can produce equally satisfying content in the future! :D Thanks for all your kind words and support! I hope 2022 has been treating you well so far :3