I bought this game because I've had blue balls so long they've turned moldy and I had to release a load of gunk so large Moses couldn't split it. I popped this floppy disk into my drive and prepared to stick my floppy disk into some premium pad thai pussy. The game starts off as I expected. I'm in the cafeteria and they're serving poo-poo platter. There's dog, cat, and bat meat (This game obviously takes place before COVID-19.) The 3 protein choices resemble that of the 3 Pokemon choices you pick from professor Oaks laboratory. Your meat choice will deeply impact your future exploration of Pyongyang Senior High.
One thing strange about the game is how absolutely filthy Pyongyang HS is. There is literal pieces of shit spread throughout the school grounds. As a matter of fact, one of your first levels is to scoop up all the crap off the front steps for the first day of school. These aren't the droppings of an animal, or a crass cheeky chappy, but that of a grown man. I suspect the principal, Kim iL Sung, may be the culprit. One of the shit morsels still haunts me to this day. It was a 9 inch leopard spotted steamer. So much detail put into a strange feature of the game..
I do wish that POLITICS were kept out of this video game. The main girl I was slipping my finger into, Muki Yako, came from a very rich family. In the game you are raised from a poor up-brining and Muki's father has sympathy for you as before becoming a billionaire he was a trans prostitute. He occasionally asks you to run errands and pays you enough money to take Muki on a nice date to eat Poo-poo platters. One day Her father asks you to pay a visit to his laboratory and asks if you could drop off a package at the local Parcel delivery service. You follow the directions and end up at an office building titles WPE, WUHAN PACKAGE EXPRESS. You drop off the package and are given the reciept with the tracking code and what not Later on in the game the school goes into lock-down as everyone is becoming sick. Seems familiar? I had my player find the receipt from WPE and my jaw dropped to the floor when I read the label for who it was for.. ANTIFA.. Shortly after you realize you just delivered a vial of CORONA VIRUS TO ANTIFA, you're forced to confront Muki's Father. At first he plays it off and says you're being dramatic before a series of fierce punches and soft kisses forces Muki's father to reveal his cards.. "My name isn't Noyo Yako.. It's DR. FAUCCI.. Both my video game character and my actual self started to cry at what we just unleashed onto the world.. at this point a large pop up came onto my screen. I thought it was the damn Mcaffe anti virus trial but it was from the game itself. In order to complete the final level you're asked to scan and upload a copy of your proof of COVID vaccination. I turned off the game quickly and felt a sense of anger for being fooled.
P.S I reached out to the fellow reviewer below who had no place to stay and offered him refuge during CORONA VIRUS. I CAME HOME AND HE WAS RUBBING HIS BARE ASS ON MY SOFA.. STAY AWAY.
