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(Edited 1 time) (+1)

Welp I'm pretty socially awkward when typing in Spanish even if it's my mother tongue, please put up with me and english lmao ( at least my english's fluent? lol )


aaaah I just finished this, it took me 3 days tbh, cuz I've been in and out, but honestly oh did I enjoy reading this, good lord I'm a lazy ass tbh, lazy enough to quit if there's too much to read, but honestly I loved this to bits I'm even annoyed I finished it now pfft.


Well I read the other comments ( most of them ), and accidentally read your blog and the stuff about Claire, and I must say it's truly impressive, considering I myself have a hard time when developing stories pfft.

Really though, all characters were to deep in personality, story, concepts, and roles that I can't really tell you I disliked a character, cuz character development is something I'm strict over, and I must say it's truly inspiring seeing such well-designed, round, complex characters! Good job on that, it really left a great impression and taste on my mouth~


I did see everyone was commenting upon Claire specifically, or just characters in general ( tbh if it weren't cuz of that blog of yours I'd be lost bout Claire ), but I also really wanted to mention the plot as well.

I must mention I'm an aspiring writer, and there's two things I'm picky to death with, those being Character Development, and Plot. Honestly ( and sadly ), nowadays I find too much cliché and stereotypes in plots, and I must point out I did find it slghtly cliché when Ciar arrived just in time to ask Claire out, since it was in a very used setting, being both under the moonlight and after a graduation. However, it was implied so that it didn't rally make it cringeworthy at all, and even became kinda cute ( I must tell you I was raging over poor Ziva at that time, so I held a small grudge on Claire during that scene pfft ), and knowing who Claire resembled, made it pass and not count as cliché ( aside from the graduation part a bit ), so good job on that as well!


I do NEED to mention now. much. I lo v ed the whole story omg. And I might just rant a bit here but darn Left and Right, the Wolf, the Snake, the Crow, I loved that story to bits and pieces ( and there you go with the ranting again, this wasn't even my point but oh well ). Boy was I dying to know the whole thing behind that small story!! Now that my rushing mind reminds me I'll have to bother you but, do you happen to have any full explanation on what happens with the other characters in the story? I'd love to know if each one of them had a counterpart in OTL? Maybe they resembled somthing else? and is there a story behind why Left and Right had specific names chosen for the Wolf? Maybe he does have a real name? and the crow? what name did the wolf ask him perhaps? I'm really sorry but I'm always so curious when it comes to big awesome plots omg.

Anyways my point wAs, I am truly in love with this story, and its characters. I'll robably even end up making fanart pieces for each character aah, indeed I was just blabbering to my bff on how much I loved this story omg.


Also!! Random question~

I did see in the comments ( sorry I'm an impulsive reader sometimes lol ) that you'd choose ( oh omg I just remembered something I wanted to ask ) either Claire or Luce as your fave character varying on the days pfft

I wanted to know what did you think of Luce, since you already answered about Claire?

And what do you think about the rest? Maybe a fave male as well?

I personally love the three girls, but my constant debate goes between Luce and Ziva, for both exceed in both beauty and knowledge ( please don't take me wrong, I'm a she if that makes it sound less weird pfft ), so I'm thinking I prefer Ziva for being so lovable and extroverted, now that I think about it I also kinda identify with her on how I usually want to be ( if only I weren't that much of an introvert potato ), but really her impression development throughout the story's stunning, and also gives a warm feeling everytime the situation becomes too personal for her. But I also really like Luce for how her constant war with herself doesn't stop her from being how she is, even if she tries not to be it in front of others ( basically the Luce we see from Ciar's POV ), and the warmthness she gives is truly amazing tbh. I'd also say I really love how, while Ziva gives off a motherly, concerned aura at the end of the story, Luce gives a younger figure aura, a more carefree one, even if she still deeply cares, which also really makes me doubt in which I prefer, so I guess it's kinda the same feeling as you with Claire and Luce haha.



And my point before this was to ask, which one's your favorite pairing?
Oh and I read in your blog that all what Ciar was narrating wasn't true, well some parts, so I wanted to know if-- oh wait nevermind now I realize Ziva did mention hersel in One Hidden Truth that they indeed were a couple pff sorry.

But really even if it's just a bit for each, we can see Ciar develop a romantic relationship with each girl, so I wanted to know which one you supported the most? or which one is your fave?


( I'll butt in while proof reading, I remember I also thought Luce was gay for Ziva for a moment? Or vice versa? That caught me off guard lmao, specially since Ciar actually asks if she likes her heh, what are your thoughts on that maybe? )


Aaah one more and I'll stop bothering, I'd love to know if Ausse actually liked Ziva ( which is kinda obvious but still ), and if the thing with the New Substitute Teacher and J... I just downright forgot Jennifer's name but yknow who pfft, I wanted to know if that was one of Ausse's pranks or a real thing pffft.


Well I guess this is where my little "critique" ends, I'm really sorry and I do apologize for taking so much space from the comments section and time from you if you read this, and I'm immensely grateful if you really just were crazy enough to just read this insanity whole!!

But overall, I really loved this whole, and I'm honestly sad there's no more to read haha, I'll also add that I'm really grateful that you took your time to make such a grand thing for free, for us. I'd really donate but I'm still under my parents' care so I'm afraid I'm not allowed to, but you could bet I totally will if I ever get the opportunity!! ( see what I made there, I'm so lame omg lol )


Good luck on your upcoming projects! I really wish to see them already, and hopefully they'll be free, or affordable for a poor soul like me pfft.


I'm sure this comment alone can surpace the number of letters in OTL by golly I'm so sorry you should have a headache by now, but thanks for even skimming through this abomination here, I really hope to see you and your work anytime soon~

Thank you, really!

(+1)

Woah that was a long comment. I appreciate it, though, I'm glad to see this... passion I guess we can call it. Also I'm answering in english since your comment is in english but Spanish is also my mother tongue so it may be a bit weird.

Well let's see there's a lot to comment. First I wanna tell you that I don't really like to give all the answers, so I may leave some things open. I prefer people thinking about it themselves. And second: SPOILERS, so for people reading this that doesn't know anything about the story, please avoid!

For the Wolf story, well there's a lot to comment there, I may create a blog entry about it one day but the main point behind it was to recreate what you were reading in the story to a point inside another story. The entire "story that should be true" in a more complex way with certain representations and metaphors. The other characters on the story, like the snake, crow and all that, they are not necessarily people from the "real world", but actually influences in the main character. Each chapter represents certain types of "pressure" the wolf receives, expectations he must fulfill if he wants to reach an objective. The very moment you need something from the world, the world will put labels on you on one way or another, that's why in each chapter the characters try to put a "label" on the wolf. The first chapter, about right and left, represents control, and how Ciar was obsessed with controling everything through lies to be able to reach his objective. The entire complex plan to express his feelings avoiding the risks of his trauma, it is made clear how his plan "will fail" because the sun "has already won", because how right and left, black and white, happiness or sadness, how they are change so brutaly at every given moment during this chapter. Because they are all lies, and with so many lies you can't really control anything.

The second chapter with the snake is about tentations. The vivid colors of the snake, her attitude about being really close and flirty. Those represents tentations on Ciar about going "one step ahead", in this case saying the truth about his feelings. However he knows how tentations can lead to the poison of the snake. There's fear of failing now that things are going well, and at the end avoids the snake just to suffer more and more in his doubts, just because at the end all he wants is to make sure the the moon will be there to run away in case he needs it.

The crow chapter is about relationships, that's why is about a collaboration between the wolf and the crow, how they need each other to get an objective, in this case represented through food. What Ciar is trying to express here is how he managed to make it so far until now thanks to his friends (Ziva, Ausse, etc...). He needs of society to reach the sun, all humans needs of others for everything and nobody is truly fully independent, however what is put in doubt here is how real can this relationships be considered. Is there really love? Friendship? Or is everything just people acting for their own benefit (including yourself)? That's why this part of the story is called Real, and the crow never gives his name. In the previous story it was right or left, warm or cold, in this it should be real or false, but it is never really expressed which one is the correct one. So, are these relationships real or false? That's what the wolf (Ciar) doesn't know. Or doesn't want to know, because he himself may be false too.

There's more to it than just this. The references to Skoll and Haiti, Yagatarasu and some other things, but I'll leave those for people to investigate themselves.

Now, about my opinion for the characters. Let's see, this may take long.

Luce: she's great. I just can't help but love her. I tried to create a character that people would fall in love with. Not so much because of her aspect (that she's pretty sure, but Ziva for example was made more appealing exactly for this reason), but because of her personality. I wanted to create someone that you would fall in love with her a little bit more with each scene. So you first see her and she almost doesn't talk, then in each scene she's more and more brave, opening herself more, and showing how strong she actually is. She's the strongest character in the game, she manages to overcome everything by herself and just by her power of will. However, she still becomes embarassed about showing certain parts of herself, and doesn't really want to to be labeled by other people. In that aspect I took some aspects that actually happen to me to try to make her more realistic and tackle some themes in the novel, to make sure her character is more complete. The final plan was to make sure that you, the reader, fall in love with her, so you can identify better with Ciarán at the end and become overwhelmed when she actually saves you, and not the other way around, changing the usual style romantic visual novels follow where the guy saves the girl.

Ziva: She's pretty, and in this case I wanted to make it as a more perfect character. She's the best in every aspect. She loves the main character in her own way, she's popular, helpful, caring, attractive, she's even good at videogames! In a lot of visual novels and anime one thing that happens a lot is how there's clearly a girl that is better at everything that everyone loves, but the main character goes with someone else for no real reason and makes everyone mad. Here I wanted to defy that in a different way most people would understand: Ziva is perfect, but she's not the most compatible person with Ciarán. I think this is something really important that most creators don't know how to handle. The scenes between Luce and Ciarán are interesting because you can see a chemistry between the two. Sure they insult each other and all that, but it's made obvious how their compatibility is really high, however with Ziva is different. They are not compatible, they can be friends, and Ziva sure, is great, but it's not what Ciarán needs. Her caring aspect is not good for a Ciar that, due to his trauma, can't really accept help from other people, that suffers when people spend their time or efforts on him. Luce is different in that aspect, she even bullies Ciar from time to time, but that's precisely what Ciarán needs. So here comes the point: sometimes the best for us is not "the best" option, but the one that helps us to grow, so even though the story with Ziva ends kinda... let's say... bad, at the same time I think no one really felt as if it was forced, people can relate to how Ziva is great but there's a pit that separates the two that can't be helped. Life is not fair, and sometimes you can't do anything about it.

Ausse: Oh man Ausse is such a great character. He's a character that has survived me some other novels and projects that never actually came to light. The first point was to make him the cliche flirty friend that loves all the girls, and sure he is, but it was all to get to his conclusion and theme at the end. About how the personality can't really be set in stone for someone, how people can decide what to be or how to act depending of the situation and that's not a bad thing. People get obsessed about being "something" or "someone" in particular. I'm personally tired of hearing that "just be yourself" as if "yourself" was actually something. People change all the time, they act differently with different people, and that's ok. Ausse takes that and makes jokes about it, becomes whom he wants to become and helps the main character in his own way. Sometimes people think that you can only be friends with someone when you talk serious or deep themes, but I think a good friend can also be that guy that only wants to make you happy, even if it's just with silly things.

(+1)

Diniz: some people have actually complain about how Diniz wasn't really developed that much, but I think that was a bit the point with him. He's more the kind of the "observer" character, someone that is "just there". You don't see his personality directly since he doesn't talk that much, but through other people. How he was in the past, how he acts in the present. He knows everything but tries to not do that much, he's a bit the opposite to Ziva, trying to help by "not helping". I think he's interesting enough and leaves the reader with doubts and ideas about him that helps to don't make the general plot not so easy. So he's more of a support, a small role that actually impacts big if you keep attention to the details (he's mentioned as soon as in chapter 2, but most people don't even realize this).

Ciar: well he's the main character, so I guess he's my favorite, not so much because of personality but because how complete he is. It's obvious he's the most developed character, but well, this is his story, it's all about his development, so there wouldn't be any point to this story without him. The main point I wanted to make with him was how he was a character in a gray area. Most characters in all stories represent something in society, they are important with great lives so they catch attention, or they are depressive, lost at the bottom, trying to make everything sad. I wanted to make something different with him, as if someone who doesn't really have a reason to be sad or happy. He's not unkown in his class or school, he's a clown after all, but at the same he's kinda unapproachable, since he's so sarcastic and a general asshole about everything. So that puts him in a gray area, people knows him, nobody really cares about him since he seems to be doing well, but at the same time nobody admires him, nobody really wants to be close friends with him. All his relationships are superficial and mediocre, and there's really nothing that makes him special. With time you can hear about his trauma and leg and everything, but the point of all that was how it all was psychological, how he actually didn't really have any problems. Nobody ever blamed him of anything, nobody ever throught high of him: and that was made him suffer. People need an identity, they need to be someone to somebody, to be able to be proud of something, and that was kinda the point about this character and his relationship with Pygmalion story. I think he represents really well the current youth in society, how nowadays most people can't really complain about their lives since they had all their basic necessities covered, they had good families, education, money, everything. But at the same they are nobodies, they are just one more person among a million, they are not the best at anything, neither the worse, they don't have any sad story to share, neither a victory. That gray area creates a void of emptyness in a lot of people, and there's no answer to that, not help.

For the pairing, well I'm the author, so I'm with the pairing I put at the ending lol. I understand some people would like more some other pairings but I guess that's ok, not everyone will feel the same about what I tried to convey and that's great. Same for a possible Ziva and Ausse pairing, I'll let people think what they want about that. Also the Luce and Ziva thing wasn't really gay lol (well, again it's ok if people want to think that), but it was more about Luce just admitting how Ziva was so great. Luce is not really envious or anything and she can be really direct about what she thinks so she doesn't have any issues stating how Ziva is obviously a better person than her, and also has a great body (maybe she has a bit of concern about a lack of something? Oh... I better let this for the readers once again).

The Ausse thing at the end was a bit of a joke and not. The situation actually got out of hand for him, to a point it would put him in an embarassing moment, but since people is used to him being a prankster nobody actually took it seriously. It was a small point I wanted to make about how sometimes being a liar can be really useful if you don't want to be labeled of anything. Nobody would take a clown seriously.

I think this covers everything. Wew that was long. In any case thanks again for your comments, and feel free to ask anything any time again (you can do it in spanish if you want lol). Bye!

Aaah omg tysm for this I feel bad now that you've typed so much omg lol

I'm so hyped over how you've put so much effort in your story all those answers were so developed and it really showed once again how much effort you had put in this whole project.

Aah lo siento, sé que es tu idioma natal también, solo que supongo que estoy más acostumbrada a escribir en inglés ( además me da pereza poner tildes y eso haha )

Also I'm pretty socially awkward when it comes to spanish, for I don't use much expressions with people here, however I d talk a lot online so I guess english would be better to transmit my emotions more clearly haha

and english doesnt need accents ;;v;;


Anyhow uhh I had some questions but I guess I forgot ergh

Oh if it's not creepy, and if I may ask, are you male or female?

I instinctively thought of you as a male, since I mostly see males working on video games rather than females, not for a stereotype but for life experience pfft. However, I saw you getting called a she in a comment, so I got confused lol

Its not really needed but I guess it kinda changes the way I see you, not on my thoughhts but on my impression, if that makes sense pfft.


Now uhh I did have a question, so I'm not leaving without remembering what was it haha;;

Umm I remember it had to do with the front page, I told myself to think in the frint page and I'd recall, but now I don't oof.


Oh!!

Some random questions-- omg you should have a Tumblr Ask Blog for the OTL Crew omg it'd be hilarious and amazing tbh I'd totally spam your feed there pfft.

Does Lice have any drawing style you think of? or did you not think of that lol

I really imagine her going to the realistic sci fi anime style, yknow that one that isn't really anime looking, but it also isnt realism either.

Also about Ziva, she seemed really hurt with the breakup, but were her feelings out of real love or just fake ones she developed due to the pity and need she felt of helping him?

I know you wanna leave questions open to the crowd, so you don't really need to reply to these lol

oof I still can't remember what was I gonna ask

Oh what was Ziva's original introduction ( without Ciar's cosntant interruption ) gonna be? I would've liked to read that too lmao


Aah well sadly I don't remember any of the questions I wanted to make, so you'll have to put up with me later when I remmember ;;v;;


Thanks though!!

And I really love this story whole hh all the hidden stuff behind it's highly amazing as well ~

I'm a guy, male yes. I don't know why someone called me she before lol. I had a Trumblr long time ago but I didn't really used it that much. What I use the most is twitter (@Keinart) so you can probably find me there.

Uhmm the Luce thing, that's again one of those things I would like to leave people to imagine, but I think something more "mature" and "masculine" would be kinda funny, wouldn't it? Something like Punch of the North Star or Jojo, it would be special and the kinda unexpected thing I would love to find out of someone like Luce.

And the Ziva thing, well, they were kids after all, so they really never had a true relationship as to be sure if they were in love with each other. It's that more pure love or just caring for an old friend? Ziva is the kind of responsible woman that takes care of everything she does by himself, it is mentioned a few times how she took all the work for the committee and some other things until everything would be perfect, so it wouldn't be weird to think that the thing Ziva had with Ciarán was more related to her sense of responsibility than actual love... or maybe not. Again I prefer people thinking about this.

Also her introduction without Ciar it's something like this: "Hi, I'm Ziva. I'm from the same class as Endyein. I love to study the human brain and I hope to become a psychologist one of these days." Kinda the normal introduction, isn't it? I think it's a lot better how it is right now, even if Ziva gets mad for it.

Ahhh sorry for the later reply I never got any notification for this ;;v;;

Andoh fine then thanks for answering ^v^

And yeet if I ever download Twitter again I'll make sure I follow!

Also omg sorry for all those typos I hadn't noticed;;


Omg I just looked those up and those would truly fit Luce tbh pfft I can totally picture her drawing like that


Yep Ziva being more on the Mom Friend duties rather than actual love makes sense, but her being so hurt also got me thinking a lot about it haha. And her introduction indeed is pretty normal and neutral, Ciar really gives a great introcuction for her pffft


Again thanks for replying!!

This took me years to read haha