The core idea is interesting. I think it's not quite there but has potential. Here's what I think:
The platforms and jumping seem antithetical to the core idea. I would get rid of them and make it all about planets and orbits.
Perhaps detaching yourself from an orbit will keep you going with the momentum that you had while orbiting, so you can sling-shot around to different planets and position yourself creatively to grab all of the pickups. Maybe this also means no gravity either?
Was the ship at the bottom supposed to do something, or is it just visual flair?
The time limit seemed abrupt. Is the goal to collect them all before the time is up, or is it endless pickups to see how high your score gets in the allotted time?
What if you launched from that ship with limited oxygen, and your goal was to collect as many pickups as you can and return back to the ship before oxygen runs out? Maybe returning refills your oxygen so you can go again and attempt for a longer score streak or something.
The reason for such an idea is that currently there is no risk/reward. I suppose it's supposed to be a chill game, not stressful.
Nice job getting a game done with sfx and music in the jam time! Those bring a game up a few notches in my opinion.