[Spoiler alert! And long answer ahead, my dear, I hope you wanted to hear from me. If that was just very thoughtful feedback, I'm sorry!! 🤣]
Hello, darling! ❤ You are not, by any means, overstepping any boundaries. As a matter of fact, I appreciate the time you took to write such a thorough message! And you called me one of your favorite authors?? 🥺 Thank you, again! Now, to your interesting points!
(1) I am absolutely confused by the fact that it doesn't work on some phones... I thought that might have been fixed, but apparently no! I'll look into that asap!
(2) It came to my knowledge that the green theme, in different devices and for different people, was too bright or just overall uncomfortable to read =/ Due to that, I figured that choosing colors like black and white would be a safer bet to make reading comfortable for the largest number of readers possible! I personally really like it, but I'm sorry it feels lifeless to you! ^^"
(3) Yes! Ben, Alex, and Avery (the one you're yet to know!) serve the same purpose in the plot so far (exposition of concepts and friendly support for the MC) and that's why they feel so similar to one another. The difference in their personality doesn't really shine through *yet*, especially because I tried to clarify the same aspects in different routes for MC, with one or two exceptions. Maybe it could have been done better, or differently... I'll think it through ^^. Also! I'll get to that pronoun mistake for Alex! Thanks for letting me know.
(4) Well noted. The story initially has a set backbone, meaning that you will get the same scenes (introduction to the training facilities, flashback, initiation ceremony...) with variations for the different LI's. It made sense to me, since your MC is under the same amount of spiritual stimuli (flashback-wise) in different routes and a lot of the other aspects would be protocol. The Divisions, like any institutions, have a certain way of doing some things. I will think about that aspect as well, though! ^^ I'm hoping to really set the routes apart in the upcoming training and missions (because those *are* really different)!
(5) This is actually really interesting for me to read because I, particularly, see Ian and Elya's routes flashbacks as pretty different in their core, as I tried to explore different struggles of theirs in past lives. Elya was deformed, Ian was beautiful. Elya was fighting guilt and shame, Ian realized that his vanity and superficiality were his dooming. Elya sacrifices himself not to kill MC, Ian gets killed. They do react similarly because it was a lifetime in which your MC bonded with them in a way that no one else would, and they were both in a similar evolutionary stage (even though our darling Elya was a little worse). You perceiving them as the same might be a sign that I didn't accomplish what I was aiming for... gives me food for thought!
I believe you'll find Joana's route slightly more contrasting. Her flashback is set in a different stage of her evolution, which might be refreshing for you (hopefully). There will be common points still, though... *sweats*
As it is now, the average playthrough is ~28089 words (according to Twine, we're at 75210 words total), though you getting the feeling that it is really long already might not be a great sign for me as a writer! 😅
That's about it! I hope this didn't sound like I'm being defensive of my work, since I really value the points you raised and think that they can help me improve the way I tell the story, if not right now, in the future. I'm a little concerned with my mid-terms now, but as soon as I resume planning/writing the story, rest assured that I'll keep in mind some aspects of what you just said, and maybe even better what I already have a little bit!
Once more, thank you for taking the time to read, experience different routes, and then respectfully telling me how you actually feel about them. I personally also have a hard time reaching out to authors of stories I like with feedback that isn't all flowers, but it means a lot! ^^ I hope you had a good time overall, still!
Take care, much love!
Lou ❤
