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I think everyone else said things the best way possible, so I'll just echo what they said to reinforce points that stood out to me:

  • Good art
  • Characters' personalities are clear
  • Needs music & sounds
  • The magical girl (boy?) segment and battle system seems kinda shoehorned in there; needs to be either fleshed out or remade to fit the story better
  • It took me a while to understand the ending, and even then it's not clear to me why Haruki is doing what he's doing