Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
(8 edits) (+1)

I really loved this one.

It's an excellent long visual novel with lot of branches, some heavy (but logical) twists, a chance to shape the character's morality (and "win" as either good or evil, yay! ;-)) plus a self-sustained female in the main role, which is a very talented sorceress on top of it. This hit almost all of my (personal) preferences so well I simply had to love it and thanks again for making it! The characters are likebale and romance was quite touching at many places (especially Xander and the finale!) and it was really enjoyable to live it through.

However I do have few reservations to the text, which I will list here. Please take it more as suggestions for improvement than criticism, because I really love this product and if I wouldn't I wouldn't even bother to write anything in the first place. :-) It is no doubt one of the best VNs I played (and there is very few to my taste):

- Grammar and typos. I'm not from UK/US and my English is far from flawless but some mistakes were so severe that even I was disturbed by them or they even made it hard to understand the sentence's meaning. One for all: "She's nothing I can handle" - was an option at one point which in fact meant "She's nothing I _cannot_ handle".

- Give the reader a bit of credit in regard of his/her intelligence, it will make the story even more likebale and touching. Quite often there were lines like "I didn't have to look who it was. I already knew. It was Xander." Or something like that, where from the story even the reader knew it had to be him and the next paragraph would confirm it anyway. In this case, simply scratch that "It was Xander." and leave it hanging in the air instead. It's much more novel-like.

- Lastly... I know this may be hard to implement in a VN with four love-interests and so much freedom in choices but sometimes I felt the novel keeps all options open for too long. Like it was already quite clear from the previous choices who Aria loves or hates and yet she still pondered "romance" even with the character she already made clear to dislike or doubted her interest in the one she was already very close to. And the same was valid for their reactions towards her.

Thank you a lot for leaving this comment! In my opinion your criticism is very accurate and constructive and therefore much appreciated. :)

I am aware there are some things that could have been done to make this game better, but unfortunately I had to face  many limitations (my English as my second language isn't very good  :( ; my programming skill isn't great either; after paying for graphics I couldn't afford to pay some professional for anything else, etc.).  

Still, it's good to know that playing my imperfect game could make some people happy. That's all I wanted to achieve by creating it. :)    

(8 edits)

You surely did and I can't wait for more from you. :-) I love this genre but imho there are very few good VNs out there. For me a good VN is defined by tons of (meaningful) choices, chance to shape the main protagonist by them, nice graphics and an interesting story, preferably heroic and not overly weird. Yours had it all. :-) And on top of it it fits my personal preferences too, which are fantasy setting, a powerful female protagonist (ideally a mage/witch/sorceress even) and of course some interesting romance. ;-) While especially your romances were probably the best I've ever seen, including AAA games. They had emotional depth and were not always trivial to achieve. Many VNs/games confuse romance for a shallow 'click who you want to kiss/bang and it will happen' but you definitely didn't fall for such cheap facade and you have big kudos for it. :-)