I’ve been thinking about this project rather frequently since finishing it. It’s haunting and beautiful, and overall a wonderful memorial to someone whose life ended far too soon. It sticks with me so much, however, because it is uncannily reminiscent of my own experience with grieving a lost loved one.
In 2017, my ex-boyfriend committed suicide at the age of 18. It was shocking and unexpected, and has since created a permanent rift in my life as well as the lives of many of our mutual friends. Navigating through this project often felt like revisiting that experience.
So many little aspects, like receiving frantic text messages on the morning after or wishing to eulogize their life knowing that some people did not accept that individual as who they truly were, caused me to dig up memories which had been buried in my mind for many years.
It can be difficult, but also simultaneously comforting to explore these environments. It’s comforting, because it is a stark reminder that you aren’t alone in your experience. As far as I'm aware, I’ve never met another person who had gone through a similar situation as me, and it is often extremely isolating knowing that nobody around you will really be able to understand or relate to you, but I believe this project succeeds in achieving that sense of understanding which you may not find anywhere else.