Woooow, I love this narrative text-based game, it's deep with metaphors and imagery. Well done.
I read the purpose why you made this game, you seem to have high expectations of yourself and if you don't live up to them you feel like a failure - I definitely can relate to this.. You think you need to be fully productive by releasing games, if I'm right, to feel you are worth something; this is a harsh mentality.
My advice: you should make small goals that're easily reachable until you are ready for bigger goals, and whenever you fail be proud of yourself for trying, be kind to yourself - when you succeed you should treat yourself for your accomplishment/s.
Regarding your suicidal ideation, if you attempted suicide in the past, that in itself proves you were genuine with it because if you hadn't attempted then you would not have suicidal ideation and you wouldn't be diagnosed with suicidal ideation. A diagnosis is only made if you meet the exact symtoms of mental/physical illnesses. Having said that, one might still be suicidal but, won't actually try to attempt it and they likely have passive ideation. But no one should end their lives, there is hope even if their hopeless, their situations can improve with the right help and support, so please don't ever attempt it again.
I would recommend to have therapy, it will really help you as a therapist will be compassionate, helpful with no judgement. I hope I was of help to you, good luck.