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Only thing that comes to mind is that you have a corrupted slave. Does it still occur?

Like I said, I cleared out everything. New saves, fresh install, tried an itch.io install, cleared everything I could find in the registry even. Still does it somehow. 

Sorry, I can't replicate this issue at all and I have no ideas what might be causing it, especially since there were no issues before.

Do you know if the Godot engine itself stores anything on the machine? I can only think of that at this point. 

Perhaps, if you use it. Don't think it does anything by itself if you just launch game's executable.