I did assume that English wasn't your native language, considering that I it is still very good. I just personally have a lot of trouble focusing on the story when I'm mentally correcting it all in my head. It's not your fault at all but it is definitely something that affects my ability to enjoy the story. I'm glad you're not taking offense to it and I'm really happy to hear that you're still working to improve it even though it is probably a small matter for most people.
The other stories would be Dragon Age obviously with the mage tower thing, the bindings and the secret mage ritual. You put your own spin on it and it was different enough that it remained interesting. Also one of your companions turning out to be a prince. =P Then also Amnesia(just very vaguely but it made me think of this when I initially learned she'd lost her memory), with the memory loss and not being able to remember the person she had been with for the past years of her life. Which the circumstances were very different and no one was dying and she didn't have a spirit in her head or anything so less so that story. Xander was also very different from Ukyo so I'm not sure why it reminded me of that at all. But I think the main thing it reminded me of regarding the memory loss is SoulSet. Arantis even reminded me a bit of Marco. As I said the similarities aren't such that they take away from your story in the least.
Thanks! "SoulSet" and "Amnesia" are two games I haven't played yet, but I guess now I will have to. :)
Soulset is really weird and... I mean I loved the story but some parts of it were strange and Idk if it's for everyone. xD but yeah they were both pretty interesting. Especially if you like stories with a twist. =]