I played for about ten minutes. It's a promising story; I would recommend hiring an editor, though. It feels like it was translated from a native tongue by a non-native English speaker, jumbling large, articulate words with a grammatical landscape which is always shifting tense. "Jemy" is a bit of an odd abbreviation for "Jeremiah", isn't it? I would sooner go for "Jerry", but at least it's better than "Jezza"!! I look forward to seeing it unfold, and take a word of advice: it might benefit to introduce some option menus early on. Players usually enjoy having some interactive agency.
Regards, Rinzai.
[({R.G.||S.M.G.)}]