Post by Igor Konyakhin in Take Care, Out There comments

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How has no one commented on this yet?

The game feels quite "polished" with all the menues, smooth transitions and saving/loading, although I guess RenPy have a lot of these things premade.

I am also surprised to the amount of text/story in the game, and then I probably didn't see everything (I got true ending).

Artwise, I think backgrounds are pixelated too much, level of pixelation of the main character is ideal. I guess the difference is because these were made by two different people. Also Alex looks cute, but the computer club background looks too contrasty/purple, not pleasing for eyes.

Story-wise, I think it feels very made-up and thus unrelatable:

Why does 12-year old need to be taught how to use the computer?
How they don't have a computer already?
Ok, let's say they are super poor and can't afford a computer. Why then do they go to the computer club? - it costs money and they'll get a free computer from parents soon anyway.
They also both speak of internet as of a dangerous place, which is super paranoid

With all the criticism, though, very good overall for a jam game:)

Leaf Let5 years ago(+1)

Hi! Glad you enjoyed our game, and thank you for taking the time to give us some constructive criticism: I'm the writer so I can try to make clearer a few of the things that got you confused:

- The premise is that Alex and the player live together because their parents do not tend for them - I originally intended to explain this more in-detail through the game (the explaination involved being given shelter by an understanding family relative and the player not being able to afford a computer for Alex but using some savings for a couple days to educate Alex on computers), but unfortunately we didn't have the time to make the story as lengthy as I would've wished!

- I'll admit my own point of view of the Internet is that it's definitely not a safe place for kids and that it's important to educate children to use it well and warn them against its potential dangers, so perhaps the paranoia you felt was my own haha

Regardless, you raised some very good points, which I'll definitely have to consider in my future endeavours.

Have a good day!

Igor Konyakhin5 years ago

Thanks for the clarifications

> the player not being able to afford a computer for Alex but using some savings for a couple days to educate Alex on computers
I still think Alex shouldn't be getting computer from parents, because this breaks the logic. For example, I wouldn't go to VR club, if I were about to get VR headset myself, but I might go to VR club if I am not about to get one. And then they are poor, so they should be saving when possible.

> but unfortunately we didn't have the time to make the story as lengthy as I would've wished!
Yeah, time limits, I understand, I also had to cut a lot. Still, you did quite a lot of writing!

> and warn them against its potential dangers
I genuinely wonder if there is any research showing potential dangers of the internet for kids (besides social media addiction, depression, decreased attention span - things which apply to everyone, not just kids).

My opinion aside, if you want to raise such a concern and convey it, I think it should only be raised-from/expressed-by/feeled-by the main character and Alex should on the other hand be super chill, so you can create a contrast and so the main character can actually teach Alex something. For now, they are both on the same page to begin with and it seems unrealistic that Alex would have such concerns of Alex's own.

(Fun fact: I retyped she/her to Alex a couple times)

itch.io

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