I honestly don't mind the grammar at all, I just thought I'd let you know. I totally understand and generally it's not something I easily overlook because I'm a super grammar nazi most of the time, but I really do enjoy your games and I'll play them no matter what because I super enjoy your stories and characters. =] There really is no need to cut it down, it was just an idea as I'm not sure about other people but the wordiness might be discouraging for other people trying to get into the actual story. I know it'll be great so I can easily overlook it, but other people who come to pay for it when it's complete might be less inclined to do so if it's too difficult for them to become invested in the story. In all, however, I totally love it and support you 100%.
Thanks for coming back and letting me know you enjoy my story & character :'D
and yes, I understand your good intention <3 and I'm very happy with your suggestions! Really, I'm surprised myself that the demo became that long O.O; but what makes me happier is when you said'but the wordiness might be discouraging for other people...' -then that means the ones who stayed are those who truly love Bermuda, right? I can't ask anything better than that actually :'D
While I encourage new people to try and read my story, I don't want to push my 'baby' to them, rather, I want them to come & hug them by themselves ><
Thanks for your warm concern & for visiting again, Duvessa :'3