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(3 edits)

Page ii (8) - "Your character may have their memories altered, they will certainly forget important things. " These two independent clauses should be separated by a semicolon rather than a comma.

Page xiv (20) - "The Prompts in Thousand Year Old Vampire are not necessaily geared..." Should be "necessarily" Already noted by Behethan

Page xviii (24) - "When either of these substitutions occur it indicates that things have gone very badly for your vampire..." the bolded dependent clause and the following independent clause should be separated by a comma. "When either of these substitutions occur, it indicates..."

Page xxi (27) - "that’s just how life, or un-life, is." Other references in the book refer to "unlife." This could have been intentional.

Prompt 41 - "Long-forgotten" should be hyphenated when used as an adjective. e.g. "long-forgotten parts"

Multiple - "Far-off" should be hyphenated when used as an adjective.

  • Prompt 8 - "Far-off region"
  • Prompt 29 - "far-off land"
  • Prompt 46 - "far-off land"
  • Prompt 46 - "far-off enclave or colony"
  • Page 84 (115), Alt Prompt 14 - "far-off place"

Alt Prompt 15 - "You begin to fabricate new stories and in the doing confuse yourself about the truth." This should possibly be "in doing so." This could be an alternate version of the saying that I'm not familiar with.

Alt Prompt 25 - "You manipulate him and inadvertently crush their spirit, their poems are dead." The two dependent clauses should be separated by a semicolon instead of a comma. As Tsetsova noted below, the pronouns are inconsistent.

(1 edit)

Prompt 41 - "Long-forgotten" should be hyphenated when used as an adjective. e.g. "long-forgotten parts"

IT IS ACKNOWLEDGED

Multiple - "Far-off" should be hyphenated when used as an adjective.

ONE PRIZE SHALL COVER ALL OF THESE

(I'm going to leave the punctuation as is, otherwise, though I think you are correct that those are the proper ways of doing things)

Send a screenshot of your entry and my responses to dearleadergame@gmail.com.  If you want a free book include a shipping address (you'll get a 2nd printing copy ETA October).  If you want cash money include an email address.  One prize is one book or $20.  

Hey Tim, I’ve sent the email ☺️  Let me know if I need to do anything else to claim the prize. Thanks!