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(25 edits)

p94 prompt 51-You emerge from your delirium having mixed events up in your brain - sounds wrong to me, looking at the collins dictionary I can see mixed up is actually an adjective. In which case it seems the sentence should be 'having mixed up events in your brain'

p94 prompt 51 - this isn't a correction but more of a clarification question about the rules - "You find that your body and mind recover from the sickness more monstrous and powerful than before. Gain a Mark. Mark your “hazy” Memory slot as “vast”—you may now fit two additional Experiences in that Memory slot." - is this Memory slot vast and hazy - as in - do these two additional experiences have to be "hazy" ones?

p98 - You find a substitute for your current food source. How is a change in sustenance expressed in your physical appearance? - I think in this case it should be how is this change in sustenance... because it's referring to the specific change mentioned in the previous sentence. 

p91 and p102 - the Alternate Ending Prompt title look slightly pixelated

p104 - Create a Mark which makes you more alike to them - I think it should be which makes you more alike or makes you more like them

p106 - The graphics partially cover the first letter of each row after "If you yet retain it as a Resource, strike it out now."

p109 - Feasting of them should be feasting on them

p109 Prompt 98 - I don't think environ is the right word here. It's apparently a verb which means to surround e.g - "the stone circle was environed by an expanse of peat soil"

p112 -..., abandoned these long many years since you yourself took refuge there. - should be either these many long years or these long years or these many years

p113 -"Awakening one evening, you find a terrified mortal bound and left by other mortals for you to feast upon" - should have a comma between mortal and bound -

Awakening one evening, you find a terrified mortal, bound and left by other mortals for you to feast upon

p114 prompt 110- "How long do they wait to descend on your leavings?" is confusing, perhaps "How long do they wait to descend upon what you left behind?"

Also p114 prompt 110 - He is pounding at some door. There is a great scrabbling of tiny feet. You hear his screams as he is overtaken by many mouths, many beaks, many fangs. - uses gendered pronouns, it's inconsistent with the rest of the book, though perhaps intentional?

p115- How do you confront this philosophical question, and this fool of bad judgment? - it's initially confusing but on a second read I realized that 'of bad judgement' is connected to the verb 'confront'. It might be easier to read if you say 'this fool of their bad judgement'

p117 prompt 123 - the graphic is partially covering the 'g' in dwelling

p117 prompt 124 - the same graphic is covering the 'n' in mistaken

p119 prompt 135 - the graphic behind the text makes the text hard to read

p109 - Feasting of them should be feasting on them

YOU ARE AWARDED MONEY

(your feedback is excellent but most of it isn't within the sphere of action I feel comfortable exerting on the 'additional prompts' section.  the contributors have distinct voices that I don't want to quash.)

agreed though the bit about the inconsistent pronouns on p114  is about consistency but also about inclusiveness. It feels to me like the game does such a fantastic job of consistently giving space to the player to choose their own genders or lack of genders so with or without a bounty I’d still defend that one 😅

I agree!  Ask me about that when you write to claim your prize money.