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(+1)

Hey Laguna!

As one creator who loves bingo sheets, I was happy to see another! Had some thoughts while reading that I'd like to share:

1.  As stated before, 10/10 on the bingo sheet. It's super thematic and dark and I immediately know what I'm getting into. Mechanically, I love the bingo is death. And the Situation Table (almost like a board game board... maybe a rondel) is stellar. Again, all these beautiful parts!

2. So... I am struggling with the theme but we are supposed to. But I don't love the scenarios that it might force the players to enact. Which is exactly how you want us to feel. This is an interesting one for me because I love so many of the elements in here and I get EXACTLY WHY you created this which is clever. But can't see a situation where my group would enjoy it - based on theme alone. What I want to see is these mechanics carried into a different theme. Because mechanically this is ticking a lot of boxes for me!

Retheme suggestion - I'd love to see this re-themed to something like Grendel from Beowulf. A wretched monster who does all these toxic-masculine / monstrous things. That would allow some (I believe) needed fictional distance while still getting at the core of what you are driving for.

3. LOVE THE HOOK (born and dies). Again, two sentences that let me know exactly what I'm getting into. Yeah, the whole first page is great. Very nice job. I wish the Destructive Mechanisms were mentioned on Page 1. 

4. Check to make sure that all the Mujiks are spelled right and the grammar is correct. There is a "live" that should be "life" in the Others Play as Destructive Mech section. "Bonus Dices" should be "Bonus Dice"... 

Also might reword that sentence (situation cycle, part 4) to something like "After their roll, Mujik can spend Willpower to roll new dice. There is no limit to how much Willpower can be spent on a single roll. Once Mujik stops rolling, total all of their dice."

5. The one vs all mechanic is interesting! I wish more games did this.

6. A little confused how one would roll on the Consequence Bingo Table. I'm guessing its d5 on the x-axis and d5 on the y-axis? Table might need another label. Also what happens if you roll something that is already checked through?

7. I was wondering what happens narratively if Mujak wins a roll? Does he do good guy things? Wasn't sure. But intrigued...

Overall, I love this design. It is so thoughtful, balanced, and full of interesting things. For me, I think the theme is the only thing stopping me from really sinking teeth into it. But oh man, this one made me THINK and I LOVE that.

(1 edit) (+1)

Oh my, this is an amazing review! 
I just uploaded an updated version with much fewer mistakes (a big problem of being non-native) and some fixes recommended by you and other reviewers.


4. Even while preferring to just throw a hard theme upon people, I like the retheme suggestion! Would think about it for sure.

6. > A little confused how one would roll on the Consequence Bingo Table
You just roll for a column and pick one in it. If you roll 6 you could pick anyone in a table. Tried to make it clear in this patch!

7. I didn't make it clear on purpose :D Because on all the playtests players did that just as needed without any guidance. Usually, it's the right thing to do, but sometimes they just pulled one of the versions from Destructive Mechanisms, while changing it a bit.

Once again, a big "thank you"! First this jam motivated me a lot, and now your feedback did the same!

(+1)

Y'all did a GREAT job. Seriously, woke up this morning thinking about some of the things in this one.

No worries on the grammar and such! Just here to help.

4. I appreciate that you went for the hard theme. Just think your are going to reach more players by giving that fictional distance.

6. AH! That makes sense.

7. Very cool. Don't you love it when the players just do what they are supposed to haha.

Again, very awesome job! Keep up the good work!