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(+3)

Seems kind of neat so far. Looks nice, good style. But the writing massively detracts from the experience because it's that AI-written shorthand that's trying so hard to sound cool that it's always bordering on gibberish.

Almost every single piece of text sounds like it was written with the intention of maximizing the effort it will take to understand it. Instead of "You can hire assistants after manually completing five forms" it has to be "Five by hand clears the way to..." and junk like that. Or "The form names its tray. Hit it. The Grey one's not in service - most things aren't."

Garbage like this DOES NOT MAKE SENSE to a player who is just starting the game. When you omit the subject, and often the verb, and then describe whatever thing or action in the most convoluted slangy way possible, most players just think WHAT IS THIS TALKING ABOUT?

Especially when it's the 20th dialogue box in my four minutes of play. I suggest fixing it.

Hey, thank your for playing!
Sorry you were frustrated with the writing, the idea with tutorial character (Holt) was to make him distinct from the Department voice (warmer, more human, but also jaded) and get that across mostly within the tutorial of game itself. I do see how the examples to described (and more) can cause confusion and the most important role of that character (the tutorial) is diminished by that. So maybe this is a straightforward case of simpler being better. Anyways, thanks for taking the time to give feedback, it is appreciated.