Very enjoyable ride, thank you.
I will say for next time your textbox design could use improvement. Although you use the ambiguity of who's speaking for comedic punchlines, more often than not it's just confusing to determine who is actually speaking, or if the narrator is speaking in their own mind. It's a big roadblock to immersing oneself into the story.
Don't be afraid to give your characters a name. In the top right or top left corner, attach an extra textbook showing who is speaking. If there isn't an attached textbook, then it's the narrator thinking in his head.
I like the story but I'd appreciate it if a writer went and did something beyond the typical smelly basement dweller nerd to use as a template for a guy striking out on a date. After all, if the girl experienced so many problems with this guy during the date, what even convinced her to agree to go on a date with him in the first place? The kind of things she was complaining about and chastising him for are things that can be easily apparent when you first meet someone, before a romantic proposal could ever come up. I'm sure there are many ways to explain this away, but the game never actually does so. As such, the entire scenario feels contrived.
In any case, this was still an enjoyable 10 minutes, I had some good laughs, art is very well done, and you should be proud of what you came up with.
P.S. Polka dots on the title screen? lol, too obvious
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Holy crap so much feedback! I'll try to address each point individually:
- I will say for next time your textbox design could use improvement. Although you use the ambiguity of who's speaking for comedic punchlines, more often than not it's just confusing to determine who is actually speaking, or if the narrator is speaking in their own mind. It's a big roadblock to immersing oneself into the story.
Oh yeah, totally. Not only that, but sometimes it's mismatched. I had implemented an effect for when the protagonist talks to himself (just a black filter over the screen lol) but we finished the dialogue a few minutes before the deadline so we couldn't use it.
- Don't be afraid to give your characters a name. In the top right or top left corner, attach an extra textbook showing who is speaking. If there isn't an attached textbook, then it's the narrator thinking in his head.
This is all great feedback and information, thank you.
- I like the story but I'd appreciate it if a writer went and did something beyond the typical smelly basement dweller nerd to use as a template for a guy striking out on a date.
Since it's kind of a parody on the dating sim genre, we thought going for the most obvious and cliché option would be fitting (that's why he starts off painfully stating he only watches anime and plays videogames). Maybe we should've made more obvious how one dimensional these characters are.
- if the girl experienced so many problems with this guy during the date, what even convinced her to agree to go on a date with him in the first place?
Holy cow I never expected this question to pop up. The writer (who is actually just a friend I kidnapped and forced to write for me) typed in the doc that the girl lost a bet to her group of friends, and losing of course meant going out with the nerd guy. Thanks again for the feedback, we will definitely add the explanation when we re-release it.
- In any case, this was still an enjoyable 10 minutes, I had some good laughs, art is very well done, and you should be proud of what you came up with.
Thank you! I think this is what we aimed for, just giving a good time to whoever played it. It's pretty rough around the edges so I'm glad you could look past that. It's obvious that you put care into analyzing our game so I'd love to hear your opinion once we release the full version without those pesky time constraints.