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Thanks for the feedback!  This was my first entry or published adventure ever.  I learned a lot.  My ambitions were a little too big for the page size requirements.  I wanted to have pre-gens as part of the scenario because it made sense with hidden agendas.  But to your point I probably could have just had their agendas and not included stats.  


I drew the map.  I've always liked those exploded axonometric maps in adventures and I thought worked with this.

I'm looking forward to running it.  At my next con.  Unfortunately I had all me regilar gamer friends fproof read it...haha.

I hear you on the ambition.

My first published adventure was trying to do my own riff on The Stygian Library, which no one but Emmy Allen has ever been able to pull off, and I'm no different. But better to make big swings than to just say "here's a 10 foot room, with an orc and pie in the middle of it."

Your adventure is very good. I would strongly consider a second draft once the judging period is over to let it shine -- and you can get around the four-page restriction at that point.