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(1 edit)

Man, this is gorgeous and so fitting for Pirate Borg. I also really like the use of the magic square, which is super-atmospheric for something that is otherwise a basic "here's the key to the lock" note. Excellent map as well -- who did it?

Some of the writing is punishingly small, especially if this is printed out at A5. Info about the pregens isn't critical at the table, or Rawlings' quote at the bottom of the first page, but I'd suggest making some hard cuts of the text -- I ended up cutting effectively a whole page from my piece -- so that the good stuff is all legible for the GM. 

I would probably cut the pregens entirely, given that there's a good online Pirate Borg character generator that can spit them out with ease. The motives can be assigned without all the space being used on the pregens' stats.

Likewise, I would only print the stats of the new monsters -- which are very cool -- and just use page numbers to the core book otherwise.

10/10 proper names used throughout this. This feels like Jules Verne's Treasure Island. Fantastic flavor generally and very cinematic.

Thanks for the feedback!  This was my first entry or published adventure ever.  I learned a lot.  My ambitions were a little too big for the page size requirements.  I wanted to have pre-gens as part of the scenario because it made sense with hidden agendas.  But to your point I probably could have just had their agendas and not included stats.  


I drew the map.  I've always liked those exploded axonometric maps in adventures and I thought worked with this.

I'm looking forward to running it.  At my next con.  Unfortunately I had all me regilar gamer friends fproof read it...haha.

I hear you on the ambition.

My first published adventure was trying to do my own riff on The Stygian Library, which no one but Emmy Allen has ever been able to pull off, and I'm no different. But better to make big swings than to just say "here's a 10 foot room, with an orc and pie in the middle of it."

Your adventure is very good. I would strongly consider a second draft once the judging period is over to let it shine -- and you can get around the four-page restriction at that point.