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(+4)

Hi kigyo! We haven't spoken before either but your post showed up on my dash and wow I felt like I was seeing a version of myself from a year ago! Everything you post here (feeling like a failure, frustrated at no progress-- even the pirating on release day!-- were all things that I found myself crying about. 

I took the last year off from gamedev work because I also "couldn't do it anymore". ( I didn't make keychains at my desk but I did make stamps :) ) I hope it's not overstepping of me to say, but taking a year off and making dumb fan games or whatever brought me joy was SO nice. I actually feel way more excited logging on to work on my games again and I hadn't felt that feeling in 10 years. So, I think you're making a good choice! Even if you feel bad right now. 


Finding a way to work on my games without feeling like anything less than a million dollar payout was a failure helped. Putting a game on steam at all is a huge accomplishment! Everything else, the number of reviews, the likes, the views, all those social media numbers, those are all manufactured. It's all fake! 

I share this just because I want to say you're not alone.  And I hope you can refind that joy that first brought you to gamedev! I'm wishing you all the best. 

(+2)

Hi Heiden! It both helps to know, but is also really sad, how common these feelings are among fellow creatives. Part of me will probably never be able to fully give up on my dream, but I think we owe it to ourselves to at least stop making our own lives harder by blaming ourselves for not being able to achieve it.

It's great to hear that your extended time off has brought such an "old" joy back for you! Makes me optimistic that I've made the right choice, too.

Thank you for your kind words, and I'm wishing you all the best as well!