Thanks, I guess?
Eh, very short? *Shrug* it's almost two hours, very very few first releases are so long.
I'm sorry you didn't like the New Kyoto part. It's not clear to me what was so hard to understand, can you elaborate? It introduces some key players from the Tea House, which will be where the whole game will move to.
As for the rest, I know it can be better, I'm working on it.
Peace and out
considering how early release it is, the quality is amazing. So keep up the fantastic work, its appreciated and any issues from anyone, myself included, are well.. opinions and opinions are like buttholes, we all have them. You're the artist! What I noticed were really to be expected so early on. I dont think I know of any top tier AVN that didn't start out like this in fact some of my most favorite became gems like Astreon, it blew me away how much it improved over time. Yours stands out above the rest from quality alone! Keep it up! You have another patreon ♥
edit: as for the new Kyoto part I found the transition quite jarring, couldn't understand who these people were or what they had to do with the fantasy world, the mission, let alone MC beyond some mentions about sensei (sorry forgot her name). It suddenly introduced a bunch of stuff which was very hard to understand, was it time travel, was it another world or realm, what did it have to do with the mission MC and the women were just on, who are these new characters in a different time/reality. Just hard to understand which I put down to early stage content. Much like the lesbian heavy scene with red head beyond some unknown need for MC's sensei to challenge her which weirdly and very predictably was to lose a pupil?
I may have been very liberal with the lesbian scenes, knowing that they would a contested part of the novel for some people (and they did).
I crammed a bit of everything in the 0.1 to showcase what the themes would be, and what the "tags" would be, a way to do an early selection of my audience, and hopefully don't have to deal with anti-lesbian sentiment for the years needed to carry on and finish the story.
It is also true that the setting is very much impregnated with debauchery, so that I didn't include as many "signals" of sexual activity just to avoid being labeled as "fuck fest", however hypocritical or irrelevant the term might be speaking about an AVN.
I will consider your comments, and see if I can work out a way to better mesh everything together.
Peace and out!
Lesbian scenes are hot and make perfect sense in the world setting, it's explained well and fits part of the world building. My initial concern was just based around effort to ground the MC background and plot. That said I do have only one ask, please consider when creating any forced sharing/cheating narrative for love interests, that it's optional regardless of gender or at least optional for the main love interests (if it has 1 or even more main LIs). Cheating is meant to hurt, it's non-consensual after all and that is what impacts the reader.
I look forward to what's to come!
