One of the funniest entries I’ve seen so far.
Nice layout, some inconsistent spacing, but clear and easy to parse. Lovely map!
Timeline might be a bit strict for a lot of the groups I’ve played with, but do enforce the bureaucratic vibes very well. I’d have loved it if the end result would not be a coin toss, but based on how well the PCs handled the situation.
Very minor nitpick: a d10 table for 9 people? Why not just a list of 9 descriptors?