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I think if you try to go through all of her encounters way too fast, she'll refuse. I think you need to complete the first trial, and after it, accept the option to find Violet rather than going with someone else, then it is only after you do that, Violet can accept. I think.

That's not entirely true. Spending the festival with Violet does help, but it isn't necessary. Her accepting or refusing depends on your choices during her whole storyline by that point.

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Oh, that's odd. When I failed getting the date with Violet, I changed a lot of the dialogue choices in repeat runs (Tho' I didn't pick the ones which just irked me), with the only actual change resulting from spending the time after the festival with Violet, then going the route of asking her out.

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The changes in dialogue must've been a zero sum for you then, thus the festival became a decisive factor