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(+1)

This is going to be a lengthy comment but I hope I convey what this game made me feel well. (spoilers ahead)

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This game was not what I expected at all, I kinda had an impression/saw what I was getting in for when I saw the reviews and comments, I'm not that bothered by spoilers but man. I may not have felt as extreme emotions as people are saying they experienced playing this game, but it has given me a lot to think and reflect on.

Like many have said, they used to be and are/were Anitas and Sunnys. I feel the same, but despite what Sunny has done, even after the reveal by the end of her "true"/double identity, I couldn't help but feel bad and seen by her and Anita. A lot of times, I grow frustrated with myself now looking back on my younger years where I've been treated like Anita was by Sunny, or when I acted like a Sunny to any Anitas who knew me. I feel like the biggest "evilest" person in the world for not realizing the harm and ultimately how pointless my actions were. I've come to realize lately that I feel like I've tried to regain some sense of control/agency I felt like I never had, if I could smart enough or good enough, it would change who I am for the better. I still fear that I can never change the past and the "me" right now, that truthfully, I've always been a Sunny and I will go on to do what Sunny has done to more people, I'll never be anything more than a Sunny till the day I die. It feels hard to really accept advice to "embrace yourself and your past" cause I feel like I need to punish myself, that I can be "healed" from my true self, it feels like drowning. I'm losing my train of thought lowkey but I really saw myself in everyone. In Anita's conflict with herself (quite literally) and how powerless she is, Sunny's bizarre and black and white thinking even if it's def not to the extremes she's taken, she still reminds me of the person I am capable of becoming. I hope Anita in some way some how is able to accept herself truly, and if somehow, Sunny was able to gain some introspection about herself in another life...


That all aside, I really loved the visuals and the sound design, the lack of music and the isolated sound affects were very affective, the ui was cool too! This is strange but I remember you from when I was into TTCC, I still think back on the fanfic you did back then, it's real cool.


Execellent game, makes me think a lot, sorry for all those words or if I've overshared.

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thank you for playing my game, and the thoughtful comment. i appreciate it!

 a lot of people have told me that they've been both a sunny and an anita throughout their lives. i've also been both, and i'm not proud of the things i did as either of them. i punished myself for that.

but at a certain point, i realized that punishing myself for my past behavior didn't help me move forward and improve as a person. rather, what helped was figuring out what set off the anxious, controlling feelings, and finding ways to express them in ways that didn't hurt or push away. it can be anything from writing a diary (which i do every night to track my mood) to creating a tiny discord server with like-minded people to chat (and yell) about shared interests in a confined space. (and those like-minded people can end up being your friends!) 

what happens after the ending of ckofntac... i'll leave for you to think about. maybe anita will find a way to love herself and her art again. maybe, in another universe, sunny will look into herself and approach subjects from a place of curiosity and understanding versus fear. 

also. i'm glad you liked the sound design and the visuals! \o/ thanks for enjoying them. and thank you for enjoying my TTCC fanwork too! that was a blast to write.