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Absolutely upsetting in the ways it reminded me of how I used to behave like Sunny, and cathartic in the ways that I hope that I am not that person anymore. But I know I still have a ways to go in improving myself and trying to be a kinder person, which I think is very much needed in fandom spaces and the internet in general with all the hostility. 


I think it's so easy to be a Sunny, especially since behavior like hers feeds on the hyper-vigilance in online spaces where if u say one wrong thing or support the wrong artist or like the wrong movie/book/game, your reputation and your relationships would be in jeopardy. Anita's line about "I don't want to be unsafe to love" contrasted with Sunny's repeated promises that she'll make Anita a 'normal' person who doesn't "support such nasty things" was so so good. It's so easy to fall into the type of mindset Sunny has where its more important to defend the 'sanctity and morals' of fiction over caring about real people. Its harder to learn how to leave that mindset behind. 


I couldn't fault Anita for not wanting to release the game at the end, because Sunny and her abuse (both the literal and online mistreatment) always lingered. This was an amazing read, thank you so much for sharing this with us!

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thank you for reading through my game! (and the kind words)

a lot of us have been sunnys. i've had my own sunny moments when i was younger, and even now there are times when i have to shove her back in my brain, because i'm still hyper-vigilant to this day. i think the internet right now is the worst it's been in a while (mainly bc everyone's using the same 5 hellsites and the greater world stage is falling apart)... so i hope more people can be kind to each other in fandom/adjacent spaces. 

people will move on from the cartoon character arguments in a year or two. they won't move on as easily from harassment or bullying — especially if they're on the younger end. (also it doesn't really work wrt changing someone's opinion, etc.)