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(2 edits)
Why you gotta end on a cliff-hanger like that >.>

Anyway, the best thing about this entry is definitely the jokes. My humor is so dry I laugh at every single one of them. Guess I’m just a MARCUSbird.

Implementation of Theme: Folklore in this entry is quite unclear, though I’d assume it’s referring to magic and the occult in general (aka the very normal demon summoning circle and even more normal talking cat). It is the catalyst for the story’s events to start of course, but it doesn’t seem to be the centerpiece of the story. In the entry, the focus seems to be much more on the characters (which is a good thing don’t get me wrong), still, as of the current moment, it doesn’t seem like magic (or in this case “folklore”) affect character development in any meaningful way; even after a quite frankly “I would have a panic attack” event, their personality doesn’t change a whole lot on the surface.

Story: In a similar sense, the story mainly is in its infancy, with mostly relationship setup and establishing stakes. With what it currently has, it’s hard to judge the story because the reader has barely seen anything to judge meaningfully. Also, it reads to me like this VN is going to have two routes, because the way MC is gay for Luiz (wanted to get pet more) and somehow ADHD’d himself into sniffing Marcus’ fur (like ???). In this build, Marcus is favored one-sidedly if that was the case, and it felt quite jarring, especially since it seemed like MC was more into Luiz at the start. Also regarding that, the sudden rain felt contrived the way it’s just there to put the cg in. I get that there’s probably an explanation for that (something like the witch did it to separate the group or something), but for now it definitely felt contrived. For the characters, they feel a bit same-y to me, it seemed like all of them are just a template of liking to crack witty jokes + one extra trait of their own. I’m pretty sure at some point I even mistook Marcus for Luiz because they sound so similar and had to reread (maybe its just me). Nothing regarding Jane tho, she a diva.

Presentation: It’s consistent, I love the barely visible dolls behind the game menu. The sprites are very cute and cuddly, and I checked around a bit and apparently the cat has sprite variations. To be honest, the cat’s sprite difference is already small, and it doesn’t help that it’s tiny when shown even at full screen. The other effects are really cool, especially the part after the summoning. Also tension was held decently well despite all the witty jokes, and I jumped a bit the first time the music abruptly changed. I do wonder about the choice of playing whimsical music while the group was exploring the abandoned college at night though (and also it looked more like a high school than a college). The background was stylized in a way that fits well with what the story was trying to convey: the coziness of the daytime classroom; the sense of liminality with the dark empty hallway, etc… Though a small nitpick is that in the first scene the image is of a classroom, not an auditorium like what was described.

Writing: Probably the weakest point of the entry, there are use of wrong sentence structures, missing period, overuse of commas, wrong word usage amongst others. At least I’m dry enough that every joke landed and I also got the references. There was no real highlight in this aspect, as the story doesn’t get to approach its climax to give the writing a chance to hit. Overall, even with its errors, its at least understandable. Also obligatory Hatiko mention I respect it.

Creativity: Nothing against tropes but I feel like high school/college stuff has been done a thousand times now. Of course, there was effort in making it unique, though the setting itself certainly didn’t leave much of an impression. There was a bit of Among Us (lol) at the end that gives it a bit more uniqueness, but then of course the cliffhanger kinda just jumped in. Not a lot to say here, though even if the trope is overused I still like it and totally would read it.

Rating: 4-3-4-2-3

P.S Why is it that coming out of the VN I just like Jane the most; like go gurl drop the most iconic line in the scene and then let the men be gay for each other or something.

(1 edit) (+1)

Mental issues ^>⩊<^

But to be serious, I plan to finish it, don't worry

(1 edit) (+1)

Damn, my tiny cat brain just now realized that it's an actual review and not just a comment!

First of all, I'm really grateful that you decided to spend your time playing my game and writing this analysis despite this jam having more than 40 entries. It means a world for me right now.

Speaking in general, I agree with all your points about my entry.

The condition of writing and the reason the story stops so abruptly is that it's my first successful attempt at releasing something myself.

I struggle with severe mental issues (Unfortunately, it wasn't a joke) and usually can't force myself into doing anything for too long.

Even this month, I spent most of my time sleeping or lying in bed.

I'm very judgmental of my own work, and was able to notice most of the issues that you have described in your review. 

The combination of these two factors is the reason I never finished any other projects, despite being in fandom for several years now.

I dropped last Maywolf, and despite a huge desire, ignored novembear(buck), because I simply know that I'm not skilled and capable enough to create an objectively good game. 

However, you can't change anything in your life by doing the same thing over and over again. So, despite the game not reaching the level of quality I would call satisfying, and the story being unfinished, I decided to release it anyway. had a panic attack while uploading, but I guess I need to learn to cope if I actually want to create stuff. 

Oh, actually, I have one point I can disagree with, some colleges indeed look like high schools inside. The story doesn't happen in the USA. It's quite common for small colleges in Europe to look like that. I personally studied in one that only had classrooms. (But I still made a mistake calling the classroom auditorium. thanks for pointing that out)

It was easier to find assets for the classrooms than the auditoriums.

I'm ESL, so my writing requires a lot of polishing. It's hard to create a balance between perfect grammar and conversational English, so I often end up using unnatural phrasing or wrong word order.

Marcuz and Luiz indeed can feel a bit the sameish at the beginning, Jane got much more personality since she's the group leader, and I wanted to show her dominant demeanor.

The idea was to show Marcus as a bad boy who actually has self-esteem issues, internalized homophobia, and all this shit. 

 Luiz is supposed to be a good guy who also always agrees with Jane because of her authority in the group.

But since they both eventually play along with her decisions (Mark just complains a lot), there is not much room left to show their differences.

The fact that Luiz is lacking his own scenes doesn't help it at all

In the next build, I'll try to concentrate on balancing their screen time a bit and Checkov's guns, which I placed earlier in the story. 

Again, thank you very much for your review, and stay safe!

I appreciate your appreciation of my appreciation of the VN (lol).

Of course, being able to submit an entry is the greatest achievement. You can always return and perfect it later, so don’t be too hard on yourself ^^