Thought you were going for a monkey's paw, but nope, wasn't that! I'm not much for story games, but I know that the dialogue and narration is very important (Indie Game Clinic on Youtube talked about this recently), and you had really good pacing and prose. The only thing, if anything, the descriptives of Keli were a bit repetitive and I didn't quite get what you were doing in her shop if you weren't looking for books in the first place and spending ages wandering around in there.
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Ah, good point! In real life I did go into the store looking for a book on paganism so I guess I should have figured out a way to bring that into the story more clearly. And I will figure out a way not to be so repetitive -- would different descriptors have helped or more variations of the art in that case? What would have really captivated you more?
Her smile widens about 4 times, enough to make the Cheshire cat look sad! There's no implication that she stopped smiling. Obviously she wants something, so maybe something you say catches her for a moment as she realises she might not get it which would reset the smile. Also, if someone was smiling that much and creeping you out in the moment, would you remain? Feels a little unlikely, so maybe it's a bit more of a normal interaction and that you look back when you leave and catch her smiling creepily and she has to glance away. Maybe it's just that the image of her never smiles too.