I think I got it. I left a boot event on perpetual loop every frame, not usually an issue when working from the Bakin editor, but a horrendous problem for the player running from the .exe.
AND Bakin, boots up every single Common Event used in the game at startup, after caching the shaders and engine. Which is why I'm stuck at the 2min load, after the fix, which it still horrible, but not the 5min torture cycle I put you through.
I have to figure out how to resolve that, and get closer to your boot speed; I can't have players bail before the game even starts.
I spent the night playing other Bakin games, and that seems to be an unresolved and common issue, some worse than others. Especially bad in mine bc I automate a lot through the Common Event system.