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(2 edits)

Art: Probably needs a bit more art or at least a bigger and more polished map and a little more graphic design flair, as it's currently pleasing but not particularly exciting. That said, it's nice and clean, easy to read, and the use of color is good. The only thing I would say color-wise is that instead of pure black for the text, I would use a very dark color that harmonizes with the rest of the palette, e.g. the same hue as your aqua color but much darker, or even a deep purple.

Writing: I'm giving high marks because I think the story-telling and imagination here is good, even if there are some issues on a technical level. I really like that you included red herrings in terms of a supposed shrine and potential sabotage. One of the problems I see with a lot of modules is that the players will infer what's going on quite quickly, so I love that you're keeping them guessing. Some spelling mistakes, like shrinzophrenia/schizophrenia and dopamin(e). "Lunatic" is considered a slur these days, so I'd suggest replacing that with another word.

Game Design: Decent effort overall. The NPCs could be more fleshed out... think beyond just what their role is in the plot. Consider how interactions with them could be interesting in their own right. Mechanically, my main complaint is that I'm not sure the standard combat rules are the best way to handle an insect swarm. I know a lot of games just do the "one bug/rat/whatever per wound" thing, but when it's the only enemy in a scenario, it feels to me like the solution to dealing with a swarm should be more interesting and realistic than just firing a gun into it until it disperses.

Theme: High marks for creativity, and I like that the miners have created their own myth to justify abandoning the work and enjoying buggy sexy times. But there's nothing "ancient" here and the myth isn't fleshed out beyond just saying "they claim there's a shrine." To be clear, I like it, but it feels more adjacent to the theme than really following it.

Layout: Solid overall. Map needs to be better. As with the tip about text color, there are a lot of little details that would take this from a solid amateur effort to giving pro vibes, like not using hyphens as bullets in your lists, thinking a little more carefully about alignment and indenting instead of relying on word processor defaults, etc. But the basics are here in terms of having an information hierarchy, letting the text breathe, etc. 

Utility: Seems easy enough to run. I'd want to make the NPCs more memorable, but I could improvise that on the fly. Full marks.

Favorability: I quite like this. I don't think it would make my top ten, but certainly above-average for the jam.


Thanks for the comment! Glad you liked the bit about keeping the players guessing, that's one of my main intentions in writing this :)