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(1 edit)

Snipe hunts hold a special place in my heart, so I was very excited to read this. I will say in my personal experience, the "snipe" was small bird that hid, not a scary creature. Regardless, I think it's a very clever use of the theme. My thoughts as I read through:

I don't know if there's an official panel order, but I think all of the ones I have read here has had their front panel on the far right and back on the far left. 

I don't think you need to put Barrow and Raine in quotes.
As others have mentioned, the handwritten font is a bit hard to read, especially with these background colors. Maybe try bolding or lightening/darkening the background colors. 
On first read through, which I did left to right, I'm a little unclear about the Henko page. Presumably this is the block construction mentioned on the first page, I would clarify that as "a block construction, the abandoned Henko facility," if that is the case. 
The Henko spike cap page is taking up a lot of real estate for only applying to one of the 10 variations. If this is going to be central to gameplay I would include it in more of the snipe variations. 
I'm a little unclear on the meaning of this sentence, "If the *SNIPE* has manifested, do not trigger a new Trespass until the party has lost or slain the beast. " So the trespass sections only come into play when the party is trying to return home?

I think you're on to something really good here with the Snipe Hunt theme, the handwritten style, the monster hunting people, but I don't feel like it all came together in this package. Part of this is based on my expectations going into this. If I were to rework it I would have a troupe of Space Scouts going on a snipe hunt only to be hunted and eaten by a monster and in need of rescue (too dark? The children are the players' "snipes" because they've all been eaten! haha) or maybe the nosy PCs are sent into a dangerous forest/jungle by the bad guy to find a special creature that doesn't exist as a red herring. 


For me, the Snipe was described as a carnivorous Squirrel, that I had to catch it in a pillowcase before it bit me and we'd cook and eat it.
I was absolutely floored to find out most places describe it as a bird, and in one area of the deep south it is a frog/lizard.

I need to rework or be more explicit about the adventure starting the crew dropped into the shifting maze of this complex, and how Snipes can move from room to room and be more explicit about rooms shifting. More like "The Night Cage" and less like "Blue Prince".
The workspace for this version of this adventure is practically unworkable (thanks ProCreate), so I am already planning on taking what I've learned and just completely redo this on a different program, and I won't be so hyperfocused on the 'Sol of Our Own" colors this time around.

I should probably use this opportunity to come up with a new fungal infection instead of swiping one from another adventure. (And the loader, too.)