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Art: Full marks. The illustrations and map are perfect. The graphic design and typography are a bit boring in comparison, but it's functional and easy to read. 

Writing: Good on a technical level and does what it sets out to do, which is to provide an excuse for your mechanical creativity. That's fine as it goes, in that the writing isn't the selling point here. The setup of an alien artifact that turned everyone into monsters is a Mothership cliché, and you've hybridized that with a fairly off-the-shelf interpretation of Cthulhu mythos. Professor Warner hasn't been given any personality. 

Game Design: Stacking the dice is a clever visual gimmick and timing device, as is using it as a way to balance out the degree of luck. However, having to place them upside down is fiddly and I expect some groups will get it wrong. Since you're using tables anyway for the exploration phase, why not assign the worse/harder outcomes to the low numbers and make high ones better for the players, so you can just stack them as you rolled them without worrying about reverse sides? The scenario itself doesn't provide players a lot of options to tell the story they want. Either they're going to visit every room one by one and then deal with the obelisk, or they're not going to have a game. The keycard ending is bound to be anticlimactic and, for players not inclined to be good sports and just go with the flow, there's going to be a powerful desire to blow up the power generator and put an end to things as soon as they see what's going on.

Theme: Full marks. Cthulhu mythos is such a natural fit for Mothership that I'm surprised more people didn't use that as their mythology.

Layout: Full marks. All the information is where I'd expect it to be.

Utility: Full marks. Everything is here that you need to run the module as intended.

Favorability: Personally, I'm not big on scenarios where the story is largely being driven by dice rather than player decisions. There isn't much to do here except pick a random door, have stuff happen at you, and repeat until you get to the end. Players who have other desires are going to end up derailing the intended flow (e.g. trying to destroy the generator immediately as mentioned above).

All fair comments, and I think it's clear that in some of these cases it's driven by my personal taste and preference, which will not be for everyone. 
In my play test what I found is that my players were mostly interested in learning about the alien race that (perhaps) built the ruin they are investigating, and they spent a lot of time in-character trying to work out who these creatures were and why they built this, and trying to interpret the various artefacts etc. Completely agree that this won't appeal to every kind of player, but I don't mind that at all. 

The reason I have the dice being inverted is twofold:
1:  it elides the balancing mechanic, hopefully enough that it won't be obvious to players.

2: Ties in with the theme and setting- opposite numbers on a standard dice totalling seven, seven stars above etc. Originally I thought to have seven chambers as well to reinforce this but decided it would be too long for a intentionally short scenario.

I also saw your comment about the obelisk's wounds vs ap- thanks for that very useful. I will be implementing advice on this for the polish pass.

(+1)

For sure. I know that the hardest part about feedback in these jams is that some stems from conflicting expectations. And these sorts of designs do work fine with groups who are okay with just being led through a story and experiencing what there is to experience along the way. That said, I do think it is possible to design scenarios that are neither completely on rails nor a complete sandbox, such that there's an obvious through-line that can be followed by groups that want to be told a story, but that doesn't break down or hit a dead end if you have a group that wants to tell their story.

Not saying it's wrong to do something that caters only to one group, and don't worry, I didn't give you a bad mark for Game Design, because I understand not everything is for me, and that's what Favorability is for. But if you did want to go for broader appeal, there are ways you could make the story more resistant to derailing, e.g. by having other triggers for adding dice to the obelisk if players aren't obediently going to every room, and an alternate power source for the Obelisk that the cultists will try to use if it's unplugged prematurely.

I welcome all feedback and value it greatly!
I think you are completely right that I could broaden it out- and may do so if I can think of a good way to avoid making it pages longer.  Very much noting all of this for post-jam finalising- appreciatd.