Hello, first of all, I'm deeply sorry about your situation and I don't think there's anything I can say to lift you up, but one thing I can do, any chance you can reach me in private on either Twitter or Discord? I wanna give you access to a private beta build so you can try the game right now.
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I'm not on it often, but I do have a Discord account and while I would obviously love to play what you have worked on so far, I do feel a little uneasy about you giving me access to a beta build. I really, really wouldn't want you to have any sort of lingering concern that I may have "tricked" you or anything like that, though if it is a concern I could probably send you some of my medical documentation slightly redacted for privacy reasons. I can promise that I wouldn't give it out to anyone else or stream it or anything like that (I'm not a streamer at all, to be clear), but are there at least other people who also have access to your betas? I just wouldn't want to be given privileged access to it over other people who are much closer to you or over others who might be big supporters financially.
Yes, I do have a group of people who playtest and they're all people I picked either because they wanted to or because they were close friends, there's no issue in letting you in and I don't need to see your documents, really, I believe you.
You seem to understand already that it's not something meant to be shared without permission or recorded, so yeah that's basically all I would've told you.
Just holler up on Discord when you're ready so I can give you access to the server.