Thank you so much for the kind words and detailed feedback, this is exactly the kind of stuff that helps me improve the game!
You've caught a lot of valid issues: the NSFW dialogue formatting, the lighting inconsistency going outside, the mismatched jacket sprite, the "wasted time" line mix-up, the post-altercation day continuity, the club option ambiguity, the scene order bug after the 17 locations, and the NSFW dialogue feeling more written than spoken. Every single one of these is going into the next update.
The note about shifting some of that inner commentary to MC's internal voice especially resonated, I think that'll make those scenes feel a lot more natural. Thanks again for taking the time to write this out! 🙏