Sounds like a very interesting alternate-reality world. I'd love to know in which ways it differs from ours, and what this strange society is like... though it would be nice to see that through a longer story. I'd advise against dropping sudden exposition dumps though, it's always much more pleasing when the information comes naturally, within the regular flow of the story. Also, if you're looking to turn your writing into a profession (or a serious side gig, as it were), I'd advise you to find someone to revise / edit it, as a fresh pair of eyes always helps us catch mistakes we hadn't seen before. But great start!
Small Speculative Fiction Write Jam » Entries » A very brief glimpse into a very different world: A Hesperian road trip
Hey! Sorry I'm only replying now, I've been busy. Anyway, thanks for the feedback, I can see why you would say some information is dumped a bit suddenly. I probably would have woven in details a bit more naturally to this story if I didn't impose some other projects on my shoulders ahaha. I might come back to this story to expand it a bit more so I'll keep your tips in mind!