The presentation is great. Adding in sections showing text unfinished to show what the end product would look like is a good idea. I really struggled to make sure I filled everything in, but probably had some pieces in my submission that were lower quality than I would've liked. It probably would've been better to mark some boilerplate sections as unfinished and instead focus on delivering better quality in the areas that really mattered.
- I like the alliterative stats. Similar to the core havoc skills, these really deliver a solid idea of what actions are rewarded in the system.
- I really like the Overdrive mechanic in the stress system. In my own submission, I tried to encourage players to take flaws by offering positive rewards. This is also a similar mechanic that encourages players to take risks and keep the story moving forward, even if it means their character suffers some harm.
- I'm very excited to see the finished mutation table. I really like the repeated use of these breakpoint mechanics to change your character as the adventure progresses. The way you call both the mutation & overdrive breakpoints out on the character sheet is great. Perhaps consider making these slightly variable for some characters. Riot in particular feels like they should get 2 mutations whereas Cheddar feels like they should get two overdrive abilities or get their overdrive earlier than 7 stress.
- Character art is absolutely incredible. Each sheet is extremely well designed. Do you do pirates? I could use some help lmao
- I'm so excited to see where this goes. If you manage to finish it, let me know because I would really love to see it again as a finished product. Also, let me know if you need any help playtesting, this looks like a blast.