Skip to main content

Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
TagsGame Engines
(+1)

I absolutely adored this story.

The world building was done subtly, but in a way where I could follow along without having it be dumped on me. It made me want to read more of this world, and more of the characters.

I found the interactions between Nipparad and Waylorn absolutely delightful. I loved reading the nervousness and despair from Nipparad as she was forced to leave her life of comfort to be in a life similar to Waylorn's. I especially love how Nipparad's concerns were backed up by the raid.

The action was also very well paced. It dragged just long enough without filling up too much of the story, and was tight and exciting. I found myself on the edge of my seat a few times.


My only complaint is that I would have liked to have seen some more internal conflict, using the prose to see the characters' thoughts a bit more. For instance, I felt the scene where Nipparad puts her face in her hands happened a bit abruptly. A couple of lines in the prose showing that the reality of Nipparad's situation has settled in would have helped.

Aside from that, I really loved this one, and I hope it's only the beginning of a series because I would love to read more. Keep writing!

Thanks a lot! While this isn't necessarily planned as being part of a series, it does fit in a larger body of work set in this same fictional world (although not with the same characters). The main book I'm writing (I've posted a few chapters online) is "The Heplion Contingency", but there are a couple other stories I've written in this world here and there.