Cool to see another guitar player!
I think my main peace of feedback has more to do with the actual performance vs anything technical. The ideas you presented here are potentially pretty interesting (don't know if there was enough for me to say either way), but I also think the execution of those ideas could be improved on. And I think that just comes with practice and finding ways to play the parts that feels a little more fluent. It takes time to get good at this, I still have to work on this a lot after several years of playing the instrument!
Hopefully you continue developing the ideas you've got here, keep up the good work :)